More Than a Curse
by Rinienne
Summary: After being hit by a witch curse Dean and Castiel found themselves not exactly the way they were before. Both faced with problems they never thought about, but at the same time they found something new about themselves. Destiel. Not a gender!switch.
1. Chapter 1

Hello Everyone! This is my third supernatural fanfiction. I decided to try hard on this one. The events of this fanfiction take place in little bit AU storyline, where most of the characters who died in the show, actually didn't die. But other canons are same. English isn't my native language, but I really enjoy writing in it, thought I have alot of grammar mistakes, so I'm very sorry about it.

Edit: This chapter was edited, thanks to my Beta Annwyn. Enjoy! =)

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

****In which Dean and Castiel get hit by a curse. Dean is in shock, Castiel feels weird, meanwhile Sam, Balthazar and Gabriel find it hilarious.****

Dean could say he hated witches a hundred times in a row and it still wouldn't rightfully describe his animosity towards them. First of all, he hated the fact that witches weren't monsters but actual human beings, using dark magic. Secondly, he hated that they were so difficult to track : they didn't smell like sulfur, they were impossible to detect with an EMF meter and they could blend way too well into human society. But, most of all, he hated them because of their curses. He had been under the effect of a curse too many times to count – sometimes it had been something minor, like an annoying itch during a few days. Sometimes he had to carry out a difficult ritual to avoid an unpleasant death. Some of the curses, like sex ones, could be rather pleasant though, but they would never, ever, make Dean Winchester like witches.

- "You don't feel hungry or something? Maybe you have a headache?" – Sam just couldn't stop asking questions while they were driving back to the motel they stopped by earlier.

- "I told you, no. Nothing like that."

Dean was annoyed. Not only his little brother plain refused to let him drive, because he was afraid that something could happen on the way back, but he also spent all his time asking stupid, pointless questions.

- "Maybe you have an urge to have sex?" – said little brother asked again.

- "Dude, sex is something I always want, curse or not!" – chuckled Dean.

Sam sighed, shaking his head.

- "Hey Cas, what about you?" – the younger brother turned his head towards the back seat, but only for a brief moment, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.

- "I think... sometimes my vessel requires satisfying its physical need for copulation, but I'm totally in control of it, and I don't feel any apparent change since getting hit by the curse." – replied the angel sitting in the back seat of the car, with an uninhibited tone, as discussing the weather or a movie he watched the day before.

- "Well, I asked about everything, but… this… wow " - chuckled Sam.

- "What did he just say?" – Asked Dean sarcastically – "Can you translate from Nerd to English? I think it was something funny."

About an hour ago, all three of them were cleaning a coven of witches in an old deserted mansion. One of them shot something towards Dean. Castiel jumped in front of the spell, covering the older Winchester with his body. But the spell happened to be quite powerful, and it had sent both of them crashing into the closest wall. On the bright side, it gave Sam time to pierce the witch's heart with a knife.

Castiel was sure that the spell blown up to their faces was a powerful one, but he didn't feel anything unusual yet. Of course Dean wasn't dumb enough to hope that the witch did something wrong and missed her aim. He knew that sooner or later they would find it out, probably the hard way, and chances were that it wouldn't be something pleasant. It never was. Even all the varieties of sex curses, which at first sounded like a blessing to Dean, weren't that pleasurable after all.

But right now, he was mostly annoyed, as his brother just couldn't shut up, asking and checking things that Dean already thought about, thank you very much.

- "Listen bitch, if I start to feel anything strange, I will tell you! Ok?" – he groaned.

- "Jerk…" - replied Sam. – "I'm just trying to help."

- "I know, I'm just irritated."

Dean sighed, massaging his forehead. He turned his head to take a look at Castiel, only to find out that the angel was gone. "Perfect" – thought the hunter. Even after spending so much time on Earth with the Winchesters, he still had a serious lack of manners.

When they finally returned to the hotel, it was ten PM. Not exactly time to go to bed yet. Dean wanted to go to a bar, get a drink and maybe find someone to spend the night with, but he couldn't risk it, in case the spell would start working in the next several hours. Which was the major reason for Dean's current bad mood.

Sam parked the Impala as close to their room's windows as possible, he knew that his brother enjoyed having a glance at his baby every time he would pass by, plus it was convenient to get to the car as quick as possible, if need be.

- "I think we will order pizza today, I'd rather not leave you alone" – stated Sam.

- "Oh, come on! I'm not a little baby!"

- "And for all we know, there's no chance to have you suddenly going all blue from asphyxia or being covered in green ooze in the next half hour while I'll be out, grabbing food."

And, once again, Sam had a point. Dean hated to agree with his younger brother, he hated to be weak and to be a cause of trouble or worry to others, but he really didn't have a choice.

So they ordered pizza, and luckily they had some beers in the car, so they wouln't have to worry about food for the evening. Nevertheless, staying at the hotel room was still boring. Dean knew sleep wouldn't come for a while, so he decided to watch some TV. And, as expected, nothing interesting was on. Not even a single entertaining movie. Finally, Dean managed to find something which was, at least, possible to watch without puking and he settled himself on a bed with a bottle of beer.

Sam was sitting on his own bed but he wasn't interested in TV, as he was working on his laptop, probably trying to find them another hunt or checking the list of curses without any immediate effect, not for the first several hours. In fact, Dean didn't really know what his little brother was doing and he didn't care.

Several times during the next four hours Dean tried to check if anything felt wrong with his body, but there was nothing noteworthy there : no itching, no pain, no burning. No nothing. Eventually, Dean started to feel tired and decided that now was a good time to wrap himself up in blankets and sleep peacefully till the next morning. And it was exactly what he did.

Next morning, Dean woke up because he was hungry. And no, hungry wasn't the word - he was starving, as if he hadn't eaten for several days. And he was thirsty as hell. And it was weird, because he had been full before going to bed, and after three bottles of beer you usually want to piss in the morning, not to drink. And, at Dean's surprise, his bladder felt totally empty. But he didn't have time to think about it, because he needed to eat something right now or he would fell unconscious.

Dean tried to get up from the bed but started to feel sore, as if he had been running all day long the day before. He had to put way more efforts than expected simply into rising from his bed and moving towards the fridge, still half sleeping.

He was glad that Sam, like the girl he could be sometimes, was eating so few, just a couple of pieces, leaving leftovers in the fridge for the next day. He reached for the sacred slices of baked dough and meat, bringing it to his month with inhuman greediness, without heating it first. Still filling his month with big greasy chunks of pizza, trying to swallow them without chewing, he moved towards the night stand where he saw a glass with water. He grabbed it and brought it to his lips, fulling his mouth with cold water. It wasn't tasty, especially after cold pizza, but he didn't care, he was that thirsty.

Sam slowly started to move in his bed. Even if Dean had really tried to be quiet, he still managed to wake up his brother. The younger Winchester shaked his head and set himself up on his elbows, looking at Dean with surprise.

- "What the hell, Cas?" – Asked Sam with wide eyes.

Dean looked around the room, trying to spot Castiel. But the room was obviously empty, except for him and his younger brother.

- "What? Are you sleepwalking? Where do you see Cas?" - he grumbled and his voice sounded way lower than it usual self, as if Dean had been spending a lifetime smoking.

Sam's eyes widened even more, then he stared at Dean from head to toes. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes before focusing on Dean once again.

- "D.. Dean?" he whimpered.

Suddenly, Dean felt very awake, thanks to the realization that something was very wrong here. Now that he thought about it, he actually felt smaller, his shirt was too big for him, even the room seemed a bit bigger. He slowly moved a hand to his face, finding a several days old scrub there, even though he clearly remembered shaving the day before. And speaking od his face, it has a different shape, more round somehow. He then took a closer look at said hand : it was smaller, with thin fingers and a softer skin, a hand belonging to someone who would rarely work on fixing cars, or gun cleaning, or fighting monsters or whatever Dean did everyday.

Panic slowly started to sink in. He gave his younger brother one more look before slowly heading to the bathroom, to a mirror.  
>If Dean hadn't been ready to find something really wrong with his reflection, he would probably have screamed. Or at least jerk away violently from the mirror, because he never expected THIS to happen : two unnaturally blue eyes were looking at him from the smooth silvery surface of the mirror, those eyes were familiar as was the face they belonged to. Dean had seen this particular face so many times before – it was Castiel's.<p>

Cautiously, trying not to freak out, he left the bathroom, returning to his bed and sitting on it, focusing on the motel's dirty wall as it held the answers of every questions Dean ever had. He wasn't sure how long he stayed like that, when suddenly he heard chuckles coming from Sam's bed.

- "Is it so not funny, you bitch!" – he said, annoyed.

And then Sam could not hold it any longer and burst out laughing. 

Castiel was sitting in the back seat of the Impala, listening to the conversation of the two boys after their encounter with a coven of witches. They had been hit with a curse back then, which apparently didn't affect him, at least not yet. And, to tell the truth, he wasn't sure if this spell would affect him or not, because he was an angel after all. Anyway, right now he didn't feel any change, but he knew that he shouldn't let his guard off. In this case, the best way to find anything out was asking his brothers if they knew about something like that, if they could recognize a spell before the effect will become visible. And, in spite of the fact that he really didn't want to leave Dean in a possible danger, he also knew it would be better if he started acting as soon as possible.

So he flapped his wings and flew straight to Heaven.

First of all, he tried to ask, from all his brothers, the one he could trust the most. The one who helped him a lot during the angelic civil war, the one who actually, even though not being much older than Castiel himself, knew more for sure.

- "I can't see anything right now." – Sighed Balthazar.

Castiel had appeared in the middle of an apartment that Balthazar managed to create for himself in Heaven. It was a very human place : richly furnished with red wood, filled with the latest technology available. Balthazar loved it, he loved the luxury of a human life, and always tried to surround himself with it.

He found his brother sitting on a comfy looking couch with a glass of French red vine. Of course Castiel himself never knew the difference between all those different type of vines, but he knew for sure that if Balthazar was drinking it, it had to be French. The other angel was sitting before a huge flat screen TV, watching a movie.

Finally noticing Castiel's appearance, Balthazar waved his hand towards the screen, turning it off and took a closer look at his brother.

- "Are you sure?" – Asked Castiel – "I'm afraid it can be something dangerous."

- "Since when are you afraid of a witch's curse, dear brother?" – Smirked Balthazar.

- "I'm not afraid for myself, but I wasn't the only one to get hit by this spell" – Explained Castiel.

- "Ah," - nodded Balthazar–" Don't tell me anything else, I really don't want to hear it."

Castiel tilted his head, but remained silent.

- "Just stay here for the night, I will watch over you, and maybe we will figure something out." – Advised Balthazar. – "And no, don't worry about your human, he will call you if something happens, right?"

Balthazar invited Castiel to join him, watching movies. Castiel had experienced this sort of human entertainment before, but never really enjoyed it. Why someone would need to watch the life of people who didn't even exist?

First they watched a movie called Da Vinci Code and Castiel found it very unrealistic, because obvisouly the Holy Grail wasn't a woman, in fact Castiel himself had a chance of holding the celestial artifact in his own hands. Balthazar smirked at that comment and said something about price and black market, so Castiel decided that he would need to check the Heaven's weaponry the next day, in case another angel decided to steal something again.

Next movie was actually less stupid in Castiel's opinion. The angel didn't catch its name but it was about future and robots and he thought it would be something totally senseless, filled with "badass special effects", as Den would say about those movies he liked to watch with Castiel. But he was actually surprised when he found himself watching the movie with interest. It was about a robot who wasn't like any of the others, he was different and starting to feel human emotions.

- "Pretty funny, huh?" – Smirked Balthazar again. – "This guy had an eternity before him, he was stronger than these puny humans, but yet he chose a mortal life."

- "He had his reasons, I guess." – Replied Castiel with a strange voice, which just didn't belong to him.

He noticed Balthazar turning his head towards him, noticed his eyes becoming wider and then the other angel suddenly started to laugh.

- "Holy shit, Cassy!" – He sneered – "I expected everything but this!"

- "What happened?" – Inquired Castiel, again with this strange voice which, oddly enough, sounded so familiar.

- "Go, look at yourself in a mirror."

And Castiel did so. He didn't even need to ask where to find a mirror, because his brother had them everywhere, different sized and shaped, all over the apartment. So the angel walked in the next room, to the closest one, which was a pretty big one where Castiel could see himself from head to toes : he was still wearing his everyday suite and the trench coat but his vessel... it was different. It wasn't Jimmy's body anymore, but the body of a person he knew so well – Dean's body.

- "Oh!" – He exhaled.

- "This is hilarious!" – Laughed Balthazar. – "Wait, I have to take a picture!"

True to his words, the angel pulled out a cell phone from his pocket and aimed it towards Castiel, and the object made a snapping noise.

- "So gonna send it to Gabriel!" – He smirked.

- "I don't understand what you find so funny about this situation." – Sighed Castiel

- "Can't you see?" – Smiled Balthazar. – "Oh, it doesn't matter, you will find out!"

- "Anyway, now since we know what kind of spell it is, do we have a way to fix it?"

- "I'm not sure, but I think it won't hurt to ask our older brother. He is an archangel after all." 

Several seconds later Gabriel's phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it and read the message, which brought a huge grin to his face, huger than a chocolate cake could. And that's saying something...

"Swap meat of opportunity." - said the message under a picture Balthazar took not so long ago.


	2. Chapter 2

English isn't my native, but I really enjoy writing in it. I found a beta who will correct my grammar tomorrow tho ^_^ anyway, I hope you will enjoy this fanfiction anyway.

Edit: this chapter was edited, thanks to my beta Ennwyn. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**In which Dean realizes how problematic the curse can be but then feeds Castiel a pie.**

Castiel appeared in the room about twenty minutes after Dean woke up. Of course, Dean was totally aware of the fact that Castiel might be in his body, being currently in the angel's one (even if it was technically Jimmy's). But when the older Winchester saw a replica of himself appearing in the corner of the hotel room, he felt like he still had to be sleeping, no other way, and having the weirdest dream of his life. The fact that Castiel was still wearing his stupid trench coat made the situation even more awkward.  
>Dean couldn't say that said trench coat looked so bad on him, in fact it looked even better than on Castiel but it was mostly because now it finally looked like at the right size. Of course it wasn't like Dean ever thought he might wear one, but if it that would have to happen, then he definitively would prefer a black one.<p>

- "It really looks like a bad dream, isn't it?" - Sighed Dean.  
>- "Well, at least you're not bleeding all over the floor," – reassured Sam. – "that curse can't be deadly, right?" – He asked the angel.<br>- "I assure you; it's not deadly, "– nodded Castiel. – "I was talking to Balthazar, and he promised to help. But it might require some time."

Dean sank back in his bed. He hated this whole switch body situation but at least it wasn't lethal. It wasn't like Dean felt physically bad either: a little bit uncomfortable alright, but mostly ok. Anyway, he really hoped Balthazar would find a solution fast.  
>He glanced at the angel, who was still standing at the same exact spot. It really didn't seem to feel distressed at all, which reminded Dean about this time when Castiel used Claire as a vessel. He assumed that angels were comfortable with using different bodies. Or maybe it just was some extraterrestrial mojo.<p>

Suddenly, the older Winchester started to feel hungry again, as if his two slices of pizza had time to digest already.  
>- "Hey Cas! Dude, you really need to eat more often, at least for Jimmy's sake!"<p>

They then decided that it would be perfectly safe to go eat outside. Dean managed to have Castiel change his stupid outfit for something more casual. He himself pulled on jeans, which were a little bit too big for him, and a jacket. Passing by a mirror, he glanced at it and surprisingly discovered that casual did look nice on Castiel – he looked younger and, well... it's wasn't too wrong to admit... more handsome.

In the next fifteen minutes they were sitting in a café, ordering breakfast. Dean ordered two bacon burgers, two portions of pancakes and tree slices of apple pie. He totally felt able to fit it all in his stomach. And if not, he would find a way to make Castiel eat the rest. Seemed that the guy needed to fall for some basic human pleasure from time to time, at least according to how Jimmy's vessel felt.  
>To their surprise, the café was pretty busy at this early hour, and they had to wait some time before a waitress could take their order. Her name was Katie, and well... she was pretty cute. Flirting was for Dean something equal to breathing – he couldn't imagine his life without it. He even forgot for a moment that he inhabited someone's else body.<p>

- "and Can you please bring us the bill with the order?" – he smiled while looking at the girl.  
>- "Sure thing, sweetie" – she grinned back.<br>- "Dude!" – Whispered Sam – "We don't... have time for that."  
>- "Hmm?" – the older hunter turned towards his brother.<p>

As he came back from his tought, Dean, his eyes falling on Castiel, remembered, that he wasn't exactly himself today.  
>Katie returned about ten minutes later, bringing their order. She winked at Dean, placing a little leather like book in front of him. And, as suspected, he found there a phone number there, written with a small, tidy handwriting. He knew that he wouldn't call that girl, but still took the piece of paper and placed it in his pocket.<p>

- "Well, it just means that Dean Winchester is that awesome, whatever body he wears!" – He laughed.  
>But, somewhere deep inside, Dean understood perfectly that it wasn't only about his inner charisma. Jimmy was handsome. Maybe not as much as Dean himself, but enough to make most of the girls drool at him.<p>

For some reasons these thoughts were raising different feelings from within. On one hand he felt really relaxed, and confident in himselfl. But, on the other hand, something big and uncomfortable was tearing him appart from inside. He wasn't sure what it was exactly and decided to mostly go with the first, more pleasant, bunch of feelings. Anyway, this whole switching boday situation wasn't as unpleaseant as he thought it would be.

But, after drinking a big cup of soda and two cups of coffee, and something else he couldn't remember, he found exactly how wrong he was.  
>- "Need to go answer the call of nature." – He smiled and moved towards the restrooms.<br>Dean didn't even think that anything could became very uncomfortable, that is before locking himself in a toilet cabin and...  
>- "Well, that is hundred twenty percent awkward!" – He gasped looking at the toilet bowl, then at his crouch and back to the toilet.<br>It didn't matter that this body currently belonged to him, included its most intimate parts, Dean still felt like he was about to touch someone else. He was standing there, appraising the situation, thinking about leaving the restrooms without taking care of his needs. But then he decided that it was stupid as sooner or later he would have to deal with it anyway.  
>He sighed and unzipped his jeans. Then he closed his eyes and pulled his cock out, carefully, with only two fingers, hoping his aiming wouldn't be too terrible with closed eyes.<p>

When he was finally done, he heard his phone buzzing. He left the cabin and moved towards the sinks, where he washed his hands four times, before fishing his phone out from his jacket.

"Having fun?" – He read on the little screen. It was a message from Sam, followed by several smiley faces. The anoying geek.  
>- "Bitch…" - he murmured to himself, drying his hands with a paper towel.<br>- "That is totally not cool!" – He groaned as soon as he returned back to his table. – "I need my body back! And the sooner, the better!"  
>Breakfast went on in silence. Sam tried to make several more funny comments, but Dean became even grumpier than the day before.<p>

He was trying hard to focus on finishing his meal but really it was a bit more than his stomach could hold so he asked the waitress for a box for leftovers, getting one more wink from her.  
>The road back to the motel was also quiet. At least, Dean was happy to drive his baby again. Behind its wheels was the only place where he felt really peaceful.<p>

- "I will go to a library," – told Sam to his brother when they finally returned to their room, – "maybe I will find something about this kind of curse."  
>- "Aren't you the one who was under this spell once before? You remember when you swapped bodies with this teenage idiot?"<br>Sam folded his hands on his chest, giving his brother an angry look. Well, at least he probably tried to give an angry look but in Dean's eyes all Sam's looks were a little bit bitchy.  
>- "There are dozens spell which could do it, and the chance it was the same spell I was under is really small. And if we use the wrong ritual…" -<br>- "Ok, ok, I got it Sammy! Just go already!" – nodded Dean, who for sure didn't want to listen to a lecture from his brother.

And the younger Winchester left the room, leaving the two cursed people together. Of course it wasn't that Dean felt uncomfortable staying alone with the angel. In fact, it happened many times before and he never cared but the situation right now was pretty weird. Dean was looking at Castiel and couldn't tear his gaze away from the angel wearing his body, said angel who was sitting in a chair next to a coffee table. Castiel was looking everywhere, but not at the hunter.  
>- "You… stare…" - he finally said turning his head towards Dean.<p>

- "Ah, sorry buddy!" – Sighed Dean, loking away from Castiel. – "it's just… like looking in a mirror. A really distorted one."  
>Castiel only nodded at these words. Dean decided to distract his thought from something else and turned on the TV. Oh! And it was a time for the Dr. Sexy M. T. That totally could make his day.<p>

But after five minutes of watching the show, Dean had to admit that it didn't help. He was staring at the screen, but watched nothing. His thoughts were still focused on this entire situation.

At this point he started to think about beer. Beer would make it better. he remembered that a couple of bottles should remain in the fridge. And maybe he could find some more free space in his stomach for more apple pie? Which reminded him how hungry he was in the morning, because the angel never thought about taking care of his body. Dean couldn't let HIS body starve, and he decided to make Castiel eat something.

He stood from the bed he was sitting on and moved towards the table where he had left the bags with food. Opening them, he extracted a little white box, filled with his favorite treat, then opened it and placed it in front of Castiel.  
>The angel glanced at Dean, with a questioning look on his face.<p>

- "C'mon, dude, eat the pie, I can't stand the idea that my body starving!"  
>- "I don't require food Dean. And don't worry, I'm taking a very good care of your body."<br>Dean couldn't help himself and chuckled. Had it been anyone else in the whole word saying these words, it would have sounded dirty for sure. But it was Castiel, and it only made this sentence sounding funny. And cute.  
>- "Then prove it, eat the pie!" – Dean grabbed a plastic fork from the bag, took a small part of the pie and moved it towards Castiel's (or actually his own) lips.<p>

Castiel jerked his head back but Dean caught the nape of his neck with his free hand, stopping him from moving. Castiel looked into Dean's eyes and parted his lips, letting the hunter bring the piece of pie in his month.  
>Dean saw how the angel started to chew on the pie and how his eyes widened, a bright sparkle of what seemed to be pleasure appearing in them. Castiel moved his jaw several more times and moaned, like he was doing something totally different, absolutely not having to do with eating pie. It made Dean blush a bit, understanding how intimate the moment was, but at the same time it wasn't so terribly embarrassing because, hey, technically he was feeding pie to himself.<br>- "Ha, you like it, don't you?" – grinned Dean.

- "Yes, it is… a very pleasant feeling" – agreed the angel.  
>- "Want some more?"<br>- "Yes, please."  
>And Castiel opened his month, obviously waiting for more. Dean then realized that one of his hands was still on Castile's nape and he was still holding the fork in his other one.<p>

- "Hey, dude!" – Chuckled the hunter, – "you have your own hands!"  
>He pierced the pie with the fork, leaving it sticking out from the box and returned to his bed, laying down, but still watching Castiel, who now took the fork himself and then proceed to start eating the sweet pie, moans of pleasure showing his appreciation.<br>- "Cas?" – called the hunter.  
>- "Yes?"<br>- "Aren't you feeling uncomfortable in my skin? I mean I remember you once said you need a special person to be your vessel."  
>- "You're very special, Dean" – smiled the angel. This time the smile was soft, and Dean could swear he saw a blush on the cheeks of what was his body. And the most unexpected thing... he was sure he was blushing himself as well.<br>- "Uhh… thanks, I guess." – Nodded Dean.

The angel nodded to Dean in response andgot back to the pie.  
>- "I can totally see why you like those" – he said – "I think I will try more of them from now on."<br>And dean felt like he won at lottery, because not only he taught an angel to eat pies, he taught said angel to enjoy eating them.**  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, this fanfiction is totally getting out of my control. I expected it to be something like 5 chapters of funny fluffy something, but then it started to get serious, and may be even with some angst. But I promise there will be more funny and fluffy.**

**I also found a beta, so tomorrow I will try to replace previous chapters (I wanted to wait till beta will finish with this one before submitting, but I'm so impatient! Bad-bad me!)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**In which Castiel receives terrible news, Dean is very confused and Sam gets kidnapped.**

Sam reached the local library after about an hour of walking. He could ask Dean to use the car, or could ask him to give Sam a ride, but decided to walk. Because Sam knew that he will spend enough time in a car after, plus walking was healthier, and the weather was also pretty nice.

Library itself wasn't big, but had some interesting books appertained with the case. He grabbed all the books he could find and moved to a most distant and quiet corner of the reference room.

Younger Winchester was flipping through the pages of one of the book, when his phone started to vibrate in his pocket.

"Hey, Sammy, did you call me?" – it was Bobby.

"Yeah, we here got a little problem. It's nothing too serious, but I decided to call and see, may be you know something about it."

Sam started to describe his friend what happened, trying to give as much details as he could. Older hunter asked several questions about at what time of the night they exactly turned, did they felt weird before this moment or how do they feel right now. Sam soon understood that he can't answer most of this questions, because he have no idea how his brother or the angel feel right now.

"I will probably spend some more time in the library, and then will return to Dean and Cas, and ask them. And will call you back, ok?" – He asked.

"Not ok, you idjit, return back now, and I want all three of you here as soon as possible. I have enough books at my house here. Got it, boy?" – disagreed older hunter.

But all Bobby could hear as a reply, was short code dialing. He wasn't sure was it Sam who just hanged on him, or the younger hunter just ran out of minutes, or may be something bad happened. But on other side what could happen with Sam in a public library in daylight? But from absolutely other side, it was one of Winchesters we were talking about. That is why after trying calling back to younger hunter, Bobby dialed his older brother.

Next several hours Dean and Castiel spent in silence. Dean was lying on a couch starring at the TV-screen, but in about half an hour he understood that he can't pay any attention to what is going on there. Castiel was sitting at the same spot as half an hour ago, not moving and looked somewhat disturbed. At least Dean used to have this facial expression, when he was disturbed, and as Castiel was currently wearing his face, literally, he assumed that something was worrying the angel.

Dean had an urge to ask what is disturbing Castiel, but, as usually, ignored it.

"Want some beer?" – Hunter asked instead.

Castiel twitched his body in surprise and turned his head toward the hunted.

"Huh?" – He asked – "Sorry, I missed what you said" – he explained.

"Missed? I thought you could listen ten people at the same time talking on different languages and understand them all." – Dean joked.

But suddenly Castiel turned his gaze from the hunter, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Dean could swear he saw pink blush on angel's cheeks. What could he possible say that made an angel so uncomfortable?

He decided not to bother with questioning the angel further, noting to himself that shy expression doesn't fit well on his face.

"I said beer. Do you want some?" –

Dean was already half way to the fridge, fishing two cold green bottles and opening them.

"Yes, I think, I will," – nodded the angel, accepting his bottle, - "thank you."

Castiel grabbed the bottle and started to drink. Quick. He actually drank it whole at one draught, making Dean's eyes go wide.

"Hey buddy! You sure you ok?" – He asked.

"I'm… fine." – Replied Castiel refusing meet Dean's eyes.

Dean saw the angel to place an empty bottle on the table and next moment hunter was alone in a moldy hotel room, with a very confused face and a bottle of beer in his hand.

"Freaking angels!" – He swore.

Dean moved back to the bed, trying to settle himself in a comfortable position. Now when he was alone he felt a familiar tingling in lower parts of his back and stomach. He grinned wide grabbing the remote controller, surfing channels till he finally found one of the pay per view one. He already was about to choose something he would REALLY enjoyed watching while his time alone and pay for it, but he suddenly remembered one little inconvenience.

"Freaking curses!" – He swore once again.

His name was Dean Winchester. And his life sucked!

With a corner of his mind he could hear his cellphone ringing somewhere around the nightstand. He sighed and reached towards the noise, looking on a small screen. It was Bobby.

Castiel appeared in the middle of the familiar apartment of Balthazar. His heart was pounding loud in his chest (yet again Dean's chest) full of fear.

He didn't notice it before, didn't notice it this morning, but he diffidently did around fifteen minutes ago: Dean's body, it was burning from inside, rejecting the angel. It shouldn't be a surprice, because Castiel knew exactly how difficult it was to find a vessel. Possessing a random human being was dangerous, it could harm the human body, could burn it. And now it started to happen - rejection of Castiel's grace.

If Castiel would stay in this vessel, eventually his grace will burn Dean's body. And it will be something no angel can heal. He had to leave Dean's body, and sooner it will be done, was better.

With a deep sign, angel laid down on the floor and started exiting. The room quickly filled with bright light, which could burn human's eyes out, but was pleasant for angels. It was spreading quickly, filling not only this room, but probably the whole apartment, reflecting from hundreds mirrors Balthazar liked so much.

Suddenly, when Castiel was already half out, something stopped him, pushing him back. He shot his eyes open and saw Balthazar, kneeling before him, holding his month with his hand.

"And what the hell are you doing here?" – asked other angel.

Castiel could see anger on his brother's face. He couldn't understand why Balthazar was angry thought. Angel would speak with his brother, but his month was still covered.

"Thank our dear father, I was around! I didn't expect you to do something this irrational!"

Finally Balthazar removed his hand, letting Castiel explain himself. And the other angel did.

"I think the communication with imbecils making you one as well!" – Sighed Balthazar – "Do you know what were you just about to do?"

Castiel shock his head.

"Well, to tell the trues you of course weren't going to do nothing terrible. Just loosing this body, then making Dean say "yes" and let you possess the body he own right now, so you would share it like you did before with Jimmy. So yeah, I have no idea why did I stop you." – Balthazar shrugged his shoulders.

Now Castiel understood everything himself. Humans were consisted of tree main parts: soul, mind, and physical body. Physical body could exist and function if it has at least one more of the three components. It exactly what happened with Sam, when he returned back from the Lucifer's cage: he had his body and his mind. But now both, soul and mind, of Dean was in Jimmy's body, and if Castiel would leave Dean's one now, he will leave an empty shell. And he wouldn't be able to return back, because he never had a permission to use it at the first place and empty shell won't be able to say "yes". And, of course, knowing Dean, he will never get this kind of permission.

He was ashamed, because he was about to did something that stupid. Ashamed of the fact he was acting with an impulse of fear – his brains like stopped to think when he realized he is harming his charge, his friend.

"Balthazar. I'm burning Dean's body, it's rejecting my grace! What should I do?" – Implored Castiel.

Other angel sighed again.

"You and your human boyfriend are such a pain in my arth." – He said.

"Dean is not my boyfriend!" – answered the angel angrily. But at the same time he felt like a deep weave of blush covers his whole face.

"Yes-Yes," – nodded Balthazar – "whatever you say."

The owner of the apartment went to another room and returned back, with something in his hands.

"Well, I guess as Heaven now has own free will, it won't be a sin, right?" – said Balthazar throwing the item to Castiel.

It was a small glass phial with metal cork, covered with enochian sigils. Angel saw something like this once before: exact same phial was once given to Uriel, to keep Anna's grace in it.

"This is…" – amused Castiel.

"Yeah." – Nodded other angel, like he was able to read brother's mind. – "Will be only temporally, you always be able to take it back when we will fix your other problems. So it will be a variant for you. Although I heard it will hurt like hell. So, again, if you want it"

But for Castiel there weren't any questions. If it will be able to save Dean from hurting, he would do anything. He died for Dean, twice. Why now hesitate? Especially it only will going to be temporally.

Sam found himself standing in a middle of a very dirty room. It looked like someone who lived there wasn't cleaning for a month. It wasn't smelly, no, it was just filled with empty cracker boxes, soda bottles, candy wrappers and adult magazines. Diffidently a person who lived there was a lazy and poor college student. Also probably not very handsome, who had no any luck with women. That would explain all this magazines.

Next Sam's thought was about how the hell it happened. He was sitting in a library, talking with Bobby. Then he heard something like a clap behind his back and the library floor started to disappear from underneath of his feet. Next moment, he was standing in the middle of this room.

"Totally not cool." – He nodded to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**This one took longer, because I was waiting my beta Anwwyn to edit it! So yeah, not it should be more easy to read =D**

**This Chapter is little bit angsty, I really have no idea when this story turned into something serious.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

**In which Dean's fear and frustration take the best out of him**

Castiel had experienced pain before. He had died twice. He couldn't say it was pleasant. He also had experienced loosing his grace and his whole body had ached all over back then, like this time when he had faced Pestilence, one of the four Horsemen. He had felt his lungs burning so fiercely, so much he had barely been able to breathe, let alone move. The complete list of all the moments Castiel had endured any sort of pain was such a long one that he was absolutely certain that he couldn't encounter anything more agonizing that would not belong there already.

But he was wrong, so very wrong!

An excruciating pain was spreading all over his entire body, filling the core of its every cell.. It was sharp, it was loathsome, making his entire body tremble with spasms.

"Shhh…" – Balthazar was sitting beside his brother, trying to soothe him, -"You'll be alright, it will be over soon."

Balthazar knew that Castiel couldn't hear him right now or that he, at the very least, couldn't understand what he was saying, that is why he indulged in tenderness. He loved his brother, would die for him, but he couldn't just tell anyone about it, couldn't show it. Right then and right there was probably one of the rare occasions he could allow his mask of indifference to slip away and let himself attend to someone he cared about.

Castiel's grace was lingering in the air, like a thin thread, escaping the angel's month only to settle in the phial, slowly filling it. The angel was on his knees, pushing away his grace from his body. Fifteen minutes had passed since the start of this whole process but, to Castiel, these minutes felt like days and hours of pure, unbearable, pain. And, during all this time, he didn't even let a single sound escape his throat. But that was mostly because he couldn't even do that.

When it was finally over, Castiel just collapsed on the floor, fainting. Balthazar picked him up gently, into his arms, and moved him to another room, leaving him to rest on a couch.

« How foolish from me to wish you would stay away from love » – he sighed – « I wish this imbecile would understand at last ».

It was somewhat after noon, when a black Impala appeared in the parking in front of the library. Dean literally threw himself out the car and moved towards the building.

It was a weekend and Dean expected such an establishment to be crawling with people, but Thanks to Lady Luck, it obviously wasn't. In fact it looked quite the opposite : nearly empty. Dean moved through lines of tables, looking for his brother, but couldn't spot him. When he reached the end of the room, he noticed one particular table in a corner. It was, without a doubt, the one Sam had been occupying, Dean could recognize his little brother's jacket, left on a chair. He moved closer : there were several books on the table, all about different mythologies, he also found Sam's cell there, which was turned off. Dean was actually surprised that no one had tried to steal it, but, now that he thought about it, maybe potential thieves didn't enjoy libraries.

But Sam himself wasn't here and Dean started to feel panic arise from within. He found a librarian and asked her if she saw Sam leaving, but no, she didn't. And, of course, why would he leave his cell and jacket here, if his research had been finished?

The older Winchester gathered his brother's belongings and left. He wasn't sure where to start his search. Maybe in a bar? Or maybe, God please no, he had to check hospitals or jails?

When Castiel woke up from his troubled slumber, the first thing that he noticed was that his whole body was aching. He still didn't dare to open his eyes, so he had to rely on his other senses only. He was laying on something soft and smooth. He made an effort and touched it with his hand. Soft and supple. And earthy smell. He was definitively on something made of leather. He touched something something even softer under his head, which was a pillow most likely, and his body was definitely covered with a blanket.

When he finally opened his eyes, he couldn't see anything but blurry shadows around him. His eyes hurted every time he was trying to focus on any source of light. But with a bit of time, his eyesight slowly returned, shapes around him starting to become more and more clear and ten more minutes and he realized that he was laying on a couch in Balthazar's living room.  
>The air in the room was fresh and cool, « air conditioned » as humans would say, but Castiel's body was covered in sweat, making him feel even more uncomfortable than he already was. Not without an effort threw the blanket off.<p>

« So, you're finally awake? » – asked a familiar voice.

Castiel turned his head towards the voice belonging to Balthazar who had entered the room and was moving towards the now graceless angel. When he was close enough, he sat down on the couch near Castiel, offering him a huge brown mug, filled with something which smell was very pleasant.

« Really, I wouldn't advise you to eat anything besides this » – he told and added, after noticing Castiel's confused look : - « It's chicken soup, drink it, it will make you feel better ».

Castiel nodded slowly, accepting the mug. The liquid inside it looked hot and steamy but the ceramic surface was only warm enough to still be comfortable to hold. The angel hesitated a second before taking a sip but, when he finally did, he could feel how the rich and salty soup brought warmth to his stomach, spreading all over his body. And it was such an enjoyable feeling. With no more hesitation, Castiel started to drink the content of the mug with large gulps – it was hot, but not burning.

« Thank you brother » – nodded Castiel returning the mug to the other angel. – « It was very good ».

« Oh, glad you enjoyed! I made it myself! » – chuckled Balthazar. – « Also glad you can talk already. I thought it would take longer. Now, lay some more and relax ».

On those words Balthazar stood up, about take his leave, but was stopped by Castiel who grabbed his brother by his sleeve.

« Send me to Dean, please – He asked, suddenly blushing, realizing how pathetic he sounded.

- Oh, for the love of... are you serious? – Balthazar tried to sound surprised, even if the favor asked didn't surprised him the slighest – You can barely move, let alone be left on your own and be on your merry way...

- Balthazar…

- Oh, it would be best to just lock up this imbecile in a closet with you and not let any of you out until some serious make out ».

Castiel just tilted his head.

« I don't understand what you are refering to or what use a locker would be" – he said frowning.

- Just forget it – His brother shook his head. – ok, I will do it, even if I really advise you to stay here."

On these last words, Balthazar just touched Castiel's forehead with his fingers, making his brother feel a familiar tug in his stomach, one which would precede flying. On a corner of his mind, Castiel wondered how exactly Balthazar knew the address of the motel room the brothers were currently staying at, but he never had time to dwell in it, before he landed, conveniently, on Dean's bed in an empty room.

Castiel spent the next hour and a half alone, laid on a bed and looking at the black screen of a turned off TV. He was thinking about calling Dean, but then understood that he had nothing to say to the hunter. In fact, with every passing minute he was started to feel more and more conflicted, maybe he didn't want to see Dean at all, because he would then have to explain what happened. And what would he say? That he had no choice but reap out his Grace, because, sorry, he was mistaken when he said that Dean was special. Or maybe he hadn't been really wrong, but meant something else. But that was something Castiel knew he could never tell the hunter, because it turn into a deeper conversation, one of those "chick-flick" moments as Dean called them, one he would brush away as it was frightening and too intimate for the hunter.

Castiel turned on his side, trying not to pay attention to the pain remaining in his muscles and hugged his chest with his arms. Being an angel, Castiel had never paid much attention to human bodies. Their souls were way more appealing to him, precious and beautiful, but right now Castiel felt awkwardly better because of this simple touch. He could smell Dean, feel Dean and this arose unknown feelings, which soothed him, made him feel lighter and warmer from inside. A light drowsiness slowly started to claim him and he would probably had fallen asleep again if not for the door shutting open, making Castiel twitch on the bed.

Dean appeared on the porch, holding a small plastic bag in his hand, his face displaying all negative emotions possible. He threw the bag on Sam's bed and turned towards Castiel.

« Finally decided grace us with your presence?" – He asked with a grumpy tone, yet filled with notes of worry. – Actually you're in time, Sam is missing, can you go and check the town? You can do it faster than m_e _».

Castiel made an effort to rise from his horizontal position, sitting on the bed and not tearing his gaze away from Dean. Pain echoed through his body, but he swallowed it back, or didn't make any sign pointing to it.

« Dean, I'm… I'm sorry, but I can't – he sighed.

- What do you mean you can't?" – anwered a surprised Dean.

- My… mojo, as you say, is drained for some reason" – he lied - probably because of the spell ».

Castiel didn't know if his lie was convincing or not, if Dean bought it or not. But the angel felt terrible lying to Dean's face, while he had promised himself to never do that again. Just... There were some little things Castiel couldn't tell the hunter, he wouldn't understand.

« You're kidding me, right?" – exhaled Dean. Castiel could hear the anger in his voice now.

- I'm not kidding you, Dean ». He shook his head.

Dean gave the angel a searching look, which made Castiel shiver. Dean's eyes were filled with anger, blame, and pain.

« Cas, why the hell do you always loose you freaking mojo when we need it the most? Couldn't choose another day? – he groaned again, and Dean sounded way more inquiring while speaking with Jimmy's vocal cords

« Useless feathery ass ». He added quieter, almost a whisper, probably hoping Castiel wouldn't hear it.

Castiel's heart started to beat faster, making him shiver even more. It made the pain, which slowly had started to calm down after several hours, flare with renewed vigor. He noticed how difficult breathing became, something in his throat blocking the air.

Dean groaned again, turning away from the angel and moving back towards the door.

« I don't have to help you Dean Winchester – Castiel finally spoke. – I could have left you long ago and never turn back, your problems are not mine! You have no right to ask anything from me! And one day you just might call and I will not answer you! Because I don't have to! »

Dean turned back, mouth opened with shock, probably trying to reply something, but the angel didn't give him time to do so.

« You're egoistic, you're self-centered, you never think about anyone but yourself! – Castiel was amazed himself by the words falling from his mouth, but he just couldn't stop, overwhelmed. Even your obsessive care about your brother is nothing more born out of fear of finding yourself alone one day, not knowing what to do or where to go! »

Castiel couldn't stopped shivering, he forced his body to stand, but his sight started to blur again. He felt something wet rushing on his cheeks. The air seemed to disappear from the room, leaving the graceless angel breathless. His legs suddenly turned weak and the motel room started to fade into darkness. He made a futile attempt to remain upright, before falling unconscious on the dirty floor.

Dean looked at the angel with surprise. It had felt strange to hear what was technically his own body and his own voice screaming at himself, even though he perfectly knew that it was Castiel. And it was making the whole situation even weirder. And then Castiel started to cry, and he remembered Cas telling him once that angels can't cry. But tears were falling from Dean's eyes, and it was as looking into a mirror. All Dean's thoughts were in a whirl, for the first time in his life he remained speechless.

And then Castiel suddenly fell.

Dean rushed towards his friend and grabbed him, catching him in his arms, and trying to lift him up to the bed. It was difficult – Dean's own body was heavy, muscular, and Jimmy was smaller and weaker than Dean used to be. But he eventually managed to do it. Now Dean noticed that Castiel's nose was bleeding, so after laying him down he went to his duffel and extracted some cotton balls from it.

After cleaning the blood from Castiel, he checked him to be sure the angel was alright, if one could say "alright" about someone fainting. The angel's pulse was a little bit too fast, but it was slowing down, and his temperature was a bit too high. In other words, nothing life threatening, so Dean decided to resume his search for his baby brother.

He had been prowling the streets of the town for one hour now, looking for Sam. He was scared for his brother and at the same time felt like a total ass about leaving Castiel. He really didn't mean anything he said to the poor guy, he was just confused and angry. And it was his mistake to unleash his frustration at the angel. Castiel really didn't have to help them, he could have left a long time ago but for some reasons he was still around. Dean really didn't know what he would do without Castiel, how they would have died ages ago without Castiel's help. Dean felt really sorry, but right now he had to focus on finding Sam.

At this point his phone started to ring in his pocket. He reached for it and threw a glance at its screen. The person calling him clearly didn't want to be identified, as there was no number displayed.

"Hello?" – He said answering the call.

- _Hey Dean!"_ – replied a familiar voice.

- Sam? What the fuck? Where the heck are you, I was worried as hell!

- _It's a long story, Dean. But I'm fine. I'm sorry…_

_- He is with me!"_ – Interrupted a third voice, which belonged to someone Dean also knew and, it wasn't a secret, didn't like. At all.

- _Gabe! Give me the phone back!"_ – grumbled Sam

- Wait. You're with Gabriel? What the hell is going on? - and since when it became « Gabe »

- _We're just trying to find the witch, Dean. Everything is fine."_ – answered Sam, who apparently had managed to take the phone back.

- Fine? I'm here, scared to the core, searching for you, starting to think I may have to check morgues and you just tell me "I'm fine"! Couldn't you call earlier?" – Dean felt yet another flash of anger arising as he was talking to his brother.

- _I know, I'm sorry, I should have!_

_- _Get the hell over there bitch, we're having a serious angel problem. Something is wrong with Cas again!

- _Dean, I'm sorry, I can't come right now. We are tracking the witch, and it's the only way to reverse the curse._

_- _All right" – sighed Dean, finally giving up – "all right. Call me back then when you have news, ok?

- _Sure thing Dean, I will."_

Dean sighed, closing his eyes. Now that he knew that his brother was alright, at least as much fine as one can be spending time with a crazy archangel, he felt even guiltier. On his way back to the motel he stopped to eat, but then decided that a takeaway would be a better idea, so he purchased a bag with his favorite bacon burgers and drove back to the motel.

« You know how crazy it sounds, right? » – asked Sam.

He was sitting on a couch with Gabriel, in a room which was now way cleaner than when Sam had first awoken here. The archangel explained that he was lazy, but then snapped his fingers and the room became crystal clean which made Sam wondered how exactly one can be lazy when something could be done with a snap of fingers?

The couch was very comfortable, so comfortable in fact that his body was slowly sinking into it. Dean would probably didn't like it but it was perfect according to Sam. For a split second, he thought about how nice making love would be on this couch, but then he summoned these thoughts away, knowing that was probably what the archangel used that couch for.

« Oh, I'm pretty sure there's nothing crazy about it" – denied Gabriel.

- I still can't believe I agreed to help you with this." – sighed Sam, shaking his head.


	5. Chapter 5

**There wasn't any updates for some time, because my beta's laptop died. She still wasn't able to help with this chapter, so I asked my husband to do it (who is totally not in Dean/Castiel). I also already finished two more chapters, but they need some editing. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

**In which Gabriel is making fun of Sam, and Dean is learning how to apologies.**

Castiel woke up because he felt hot. First thing he noticed that he was covered in sweat and it was difficult to breathe, as his throat was very dry. Slowly he opened his eyes, trying to look around: he was lying on a bed in a cheap motel room, covered with two heavy blankets. The pain in the body slowly started to disappear, but it was still present and together with heat and thirst it felt three times worse. There were so many inconveniences in being a human. Castiel pulled the blankets off, trying to remember how he ended on the bed. He was arguing with Dean and then he fell, and everything in his head sunk into darkness

Oh, he was arguing with Dean.

The angel suddenly remembered everything he said to the hunter and a feeling of strong remorse insinuated into his mind. What if Dean would never talk to him again? Will never want to see him again? Of course everything he said was true, and for Castiel it really seemed sometimes, that the hunter was only using him, but for some reasons the knowledge of being right, didn't do any good to the angel.

Castiel moved towards the kitchen, finding a glass and filling it with tap water. Cold liquid, flowing down his throat made him feel a little bit better, but the graceless angel was still pretty hot.

Castiel needed to think. He was really glad he didn't find Dean in the room when he woke up; he wasn't sure that he wanted to see him right now, because he was both upset and scared. Upset at Dean's attitude towards him and scared about his own response.

His thoughts were in mess, they made something in his stomach tingle. He wasn't sure how he ended up outside the motel room, walking aimlessly in no particular direction. The sun was warm, but the spring wind was still cool, it felt little bit too cool for someone who was in only a tee shirt, but also he felt better, because the cold air was soothing the leftovers of pain in his muscles, so he continued wandering not paying much attention on where he was going.

ooo

"There is no such word as _**"choffin"**_ in English!" Sam mumbled, looking at Gabriel with distrust.

"Oh, I bet there is!" The archangel chuckled softly.

They were sitting on a floor over a squared board, with little plastic checks on it. Every check contained letters the hunter and the archangel was putting in lines to compose words.

"Take a look in a dictionary, you will see." Sam crossed his arms on his chest, sighing: "I though angels are better with languages. Although, what else could I expect from you?"

"Sammy-Sammy," Gabriel smiled. "First – you don't know me this well to judge. Second…" Gabriel snapped his fingers and a thick heavy book appeared right in front of the younger hunter. Sam barely had time to react, catching the book, before it could fall on a pile of letter covered checks.

Sam took the book and looked at the cover: "Webster's New Words Dictionary" the book was telling. It was easy enough, now Sam surely could prove that the Trickster was wrong. He opened the book, searching for the letter "C". But when he actually reached the page where "choffin" shouldn't be, his eyes went round. Here, among other words starting with C Sam found "Choffin" which was defined as a intercropping of words "Chocolate" and "muffin".

Sam tore his gaze from the dictionary and glanced at Gabriel with confusion: "It can't be right." He shook his head.

Suddenly archangel busted into laugh.

"Wait. Is it the only one dictionary that has this word?" Sam asked.

"Well, if you give me ten minutes, I can make all the dictionaries in the world to have it."

"So, you want to say, you mojoed the word into the book?" Same sighed, putting the book away on the coffee table. "I am not gonna play scrabble with you anymore."

Sam stood from the floor returning to the couch. The soft surface engulfed around his lower body in a very comforting way, making younger Winchester forget about everything for a moment. Sam closed his eyes, laying his head on a back-rest of the couch, but then he felt like the weight of the couch moved to another side. Sam opened his eyes and saw the archangel sitting next to him with a plate in his hand.

"Choffin?" Gabriel smiled mawkishly, holding the plate with chocolate muffins out, offering them to the hunter.

Sam nodded, taking one muffin from the plate and biting it. Sam wasn't a big fan of sweets, but this muffin was delicious, with short-brittle dough and dark chocolate filling, hunter had an urge to moan over it, but he decided to hold it.

"You Like it, don't you?" Gabriel inquired.

Sam just nodded in reply as he had a mouthful of muffin.

"My favorites… with Aphrodisiac…"

On these words Sam choked on his muffin trying to spit out half-chewed piece of chocolate dough, making Gabriel busting into laugh yet once again.

"I… I was just kidding!" Gasped the archangel, wiping a small tear from his eye with his thumb: "It's just so funny to watch you doing those faces of yours."

"Ok, dude, listen" growled Sam angrily "I'm tired of you messing with me around. I consider your idea about leaving our brothers alone to "discover their feelings towards each-other" stupid, because they _**don't have**_ any feelings! They are both dudes! And maybe I don't know anything about Cas's preferences, but I know Dean too well! He won't look towards another guy. Uh, well, an angel."

"You understand that angels are genderless, right?" Gabriel asked, finally recovering from laughing.

"I do, but Dean… he is bit more closed minded" Sam sighed. "And Cas… for him he sure appear as a guy."

Sam shook his head looking at the muffin he started to eat trying to decide should he finish it or not. Knowing Gabriel muffin totally could be with some sort of aphrodisiacs even if he said he was joking about it. Or maybe, even worse, purgatives. So he decided to let it be.

For short time they both were silent, and then Sam decided to break it again: "Still, it's just quite difficult to look at someone in a male body and think about it as a genderless creature. I think it's a human psychology." He said.

"Yeah, I think you're right." Gabriel agreed. His face suddenly became thoughtful and it was really unusual to see the archangel like this. "Do you know that my first vessel was a female?" He pronounced all of the sudden.

ooo

"Hey, Cas, you awake?" Dean asked, opening the motel room door.

But the moment he did, he realized that the room was empty.

"Dammit!" He swore turning around and returning to his car. Today was some kind of a day of missing people, he thought.

There of cause was a chance that angel just returned to his normal state, restoring his powers, or Gabriel also decided to let him join the research, or who knows what else could happen with the angel. The most logical way would be just wait till Sam calls him again, and ask Gabriel, if he knew anything. But it was Dean, he couldn't just sit on one place and wait. Especially he considered himself as the one to blame that the powerless angel disappeared.

Before turning the engine on, Dean started to think. It was a stupid to consider that Castiel could go to a bar. He could try to return and check those two hospitals he visited this day. But there was a one single place he decided to check out first. He found this place earlier this day, when was searching for Sam. It was in a walking distance, so if Castiel left the room by himself, he could be there.

Setting sun was reflecting on a rippling surface of lake blinking with hundreds of fairy lights, it was around seven of the evening, and the spring air was cooling down rapidity after the sun started its way to the horizon.

Castiel was sitting on a ground under a tree, his head was turned towards the lake and he couldn't see Dean walking behind him. It was quiet here, but the wind was playing with young foliage of the tree and water was rushing ten feet away from where the angel was sitting, so he also couldn't hear Dean. Unless he still had his angelic senses. But Castiel didn't turn his head even when the hunter was standing right behind him. May be he really didn't hear, or may be didn't want to pay attention.

Hunter still haven't used to the fact the angel currently was looking exactly like Dean, and he yet again felt little bit awkward about it. He was standing quietly behind the angel with two bottles of beer not knowing how to start, then he noticed that the angel is tense, his skin covered in goose bumps. Castiel was wearing only jeans and a t-shirt, so most diffidently he was cold, but the fact that he was an angel made it hard to believe.

Dean pulled off his leather jacket – wasn't an easy task while holding two bottles in a hand – and gently covered Castiel's shoulders with it. Angel twitched under a touch, so Dean assumed that he actually hadn't been noticed.

"May I sit here?" Dean asked.

Castiel just nodded. His gaze was still directed toward the lake. For one point Dean started to feel that this situation was little bit familiar. Then, when he already settled himself besides the angel, he realized that this place had exact same atmosphere like the lake he saw in his dream once - the one where Castiel visited him, trying to deliver some kind of a message.

Dean opened one bottle of beer and offered it to his friend. Castiel tilted his head, sighed and took it. For some time after that they were sitting quietly, sipping the bitter drink and looking at the lake and setting sun.

"Dean" Castiel finally pronounced. "I'm sorry."

"Wha… wait, why?" Dean surprised. "That had to be me who should say sorry. Well I'm just not good at it, you know. I just felt like shit, I was frustrated and scared."

And then angel started to chuckle. Even with a fact that he was doing it with Dean's voice, it sounded so Castiel-like: "I believe you just did it" the angel finally said.

"Oh, ok," the hunter nodded. – "That was easier than I expected."

"Yes, it was." Castiel agreed. "Although I believe I also said a lot of things which upset you and I regret it."

"Well, yeah, may be." The older Winchester nodded. "To tell the truth I would punch you to the face at the moment, if you wouldn't fell unconscious. But, on a second thought, no, I probably wouldn't able to do it to my very own face."

"Then maybe there is something good in this curse?" Angel smiled.

This time it was Dean's turn to chuckle.

Castiel closed his eyes, bundling up in Dean's jacket, smelling this familiar mix of leather and motor oil. Suddenly his stomach started to create weird sounds, making the graceless angel feel uncomfortable.

Dean in his turn started to laugh: "Wow, Cas! You're hungry, aren't you?" He asked. With those words he stood up and moved towards his car he left several hundred feet from the tree they were sitting under. In a less than a minute he returned with a pack in his hands.

Castiel gave him a questioning look.

"Burgers!" Dean smiled. "I know you couldn't even look at them after that incident with the Famine, but, it's better than sit here hungry, right?" And he passed the bag to Castiel.

Angel smiled and nodded: "We will share them." He proposed.

Dean felt how blood rushed to his cheeks, making them slightly red. He only hoped that Castiel didn't notice it. All this conversation sounded like a one huge chick-flick moment. If he and Castiel were still in their own bodies, all this "sitting under a tree, staring at the lake and sharing burgers" would never happen.

"Ok. But only cause It's difficult to argue with yourself." He mumbled discontentedly.


	6. Chapter 6

**My beta is finally returned, so enjoy her awesome correction of my slashy imagination =) This chapter is only talking and no action, but I hope you will enjoy it. And yeah, be ready for some lemons in next chapter! you may try to guess who will lose his control first! =D**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**In which Dean and Sam ask questions and the angels answer them truthfully**

"Hey Cas!" Dean called from his position in front of the TV screen, watching some kind of horror movie. He wasn't sure what it was exactly about, as he had missed the beginning. Not that he really cared anyway, he just wanted to see some action, to relax and enjoy himself, only if for a little while.

"Yes, Dean?" The angel answered, sitting on the edge of the second bed, a book in his lap. Dean had no idea what Castiel was reading, and he didn't care, but watching his own body deeply immersed in a book was quite a strange sight.

"How come you also have a handprint on your shoulder?" The hunter asked. This precise question had been going through his mind for quite some time now, but he had been unable to bring up the subject. He didn't know why he finally did though, perhaps because he had been annoyed by the heavy silence in the room, only disturbed by muffled sounds coming from the television.

Castiel's eyes left his book and focused on Dean, while his head made what was now his trademark tilt.

"I don't have anything on my shoulder, Dean."

"Yeah right, and what is it this then?" Dean asked, pulling up the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing, revealing a hand shaped scar.

"This handprint is on _**your**_ shoulder, not mine, Dean."

"Yeah, and I'm currently in your body, so technically it's your shoulder, isn't it?"

Castiel didn't reply anything to that, but followed Dean's example, pulling up the left sleeve of his own shirt, showing his shoulder to the hunter. Surprisingly, the skin there was smooth and untouched, as if Castiel's handprint had never existed. His eyes moved to Castiel's, not understanding what was the meaning of all this.

"It is not a scar on your body, Dean…" the angel started to explain, probably aware of the questioning look in Dean's eyes.

"…But on my soul." Dean finished. It would explain why the mark had jumped along with him from one body to another, but the hunter wasn't sure how he felt about this new development. Somehow, it was disturbing as hell, to be marked by someone like that, even if said someone was an angel, as he was some cattle. But then, for some reason, it also awakened a pleasant feeling from within, some warm and pleasurable sensation that he couldn't explain.

"I have another question », he resumed after a moment, "when you went to the Hell, to pull me out, you didn't have a vessel, did you?" Castiel nodded. "And I also remember you telling us once that your true form is the size of the Chrysler building…"

"…approximately, I never tried to measure".

"Whatever, that's not what I mean. I mean how did you leave such a small mark, hand sized, when ten of me could fit into one single finger of yours when you're in your true form?" Dean inquired. "And I'm not even considering the possibility that I should have probably burnt alive", he added quickly before Castiel could answer something like "it's not possible", which would sound like the only logical reply.

But Castiel suddenly smiled, eyes' connecting with the hunter's: "Your soul, Dean. Your soul is not as small as you seem to think".

Dean nodded. "Well, I hope every part of me is proportionally enlarged in my soul form," he chuckled.

And, as expected, Castiel made yet another head tilt, 'you are confusing me', in response. The angel's ignorance towards Dean's sex jokes would never ceased to be amusing.

Anyway, there was one more question Dean was tempted to ask.

"Cas" he began, "There's something else I wonder".

"Yes?"

"Where is Jimmy?" It wasn't like Dean was really worried about the guy. Of course he felt a little concern somehow, because he was a hunter and it meant protecting innocent people, but the question made Dean curious because he couldn't feel any other presence, even the faintest, in his mind. He didn't know if it meant that Jimmy remained asleep or if he had moved in Dean's body with Castiel.

"Jimmy is in Heaven", Castiel said on an apathetic tone, as it was something of no import.

"Is he dead?" asked Dean "Well, why I ain't surprised... using someone and then dumping him." He didn't really wanted to sound harsh but couldn't help but be disturbed by the casual way the angel responded to this matter.

"Dean." Castiel sighed. "It is only the best for him. This way, he doesn't have to be imprisoned here and he won't suffer, he can rest now, be free."

"If you say so," answered Dean with a grimace. This was a strange definition of freedom in Dean's opinion and it clearly didn't sound like a good thing to him but who was he to judge, to try and guess what it felt like to be merely sleeping inside a body, unable of the slightest control? Obviously there was nothing good about this situation. Maybe he shouldn't have asked about it in the first place.

It seemed that every time his feelings towards the angel became somewhat friendlier, something happened and they were back to square one.

Gabriel was standing in the kitchen of his apartment, a spoon in his hand. From time to time he would dive into one of the many different kinds of cakes he had summoned on the table, returning a spoonful to his mouth. Sometimes he would snap his fingers, messing with the ingredients in the pastry, only to taste the cakes again.

This whole time he never removed his eyes form the young hunter who was currently sitting on his couch with his laptop, surrounded by different books about witchcraft. The archangel had been watching over the Winchester family for quite a long time now, since the moment he had known about their true purpose in his Father's great scheme, but it was only Sam who really caught his attention. The younger Winchester was definitively devoted to his family or to his duty, but at the same time he was independent, following his own path and fighting to finally find a way to reconcile his own interest with his obligations and burden.

Sam reminded Gabriel of one person he used to be close to, besides his brethren. Gabriel's first friend, outside his family, the one who thought him to stand by himself, to stand up for what is right. If not for her, Gabriel would have remained in Heaven, a presence among them but torn with pain and disappointment towards his brothers. Yes, it was thanks to her, the one destined to become his first vessel.

"So, how long has it been?" Sam asked suddenly, tearing Gabriel away from his thoughts.

"How long what?" The archangel inquired.

"For how long have you been leaving on Earth instead of Heaven?"

"Well, for more than two thousand years already. Moved here right after I was forced out of my first vessel. They wanted me to return back to heaven, to this crazy epicenter of family feuds, but I just ran away. I spent quite a long time hiding in limbo, between Earth and Heaven, before finally being able to find another vessel. It took some time, but I couldn't return to my old vessel, I was worried for her."

Gabriel realized in an instant that he had already told Sam too much, about a souvenir so precious he couldn't share it with anyone. Humans had their own interpretations on Christianity, and sometimes misinterpretations, and its history, and he didn't want to change any of it anyhow.

But, at the same time, he recognized at once how easy it was to tell something so private to Sam.

"You were worried about her? So she wasn't a simple vessel? Something like a friend? Or more?" Sam asked. And of course he would, Gabriel should have foreseen that one. Now he had only two solutions. Either he would reply with sarcasm and to turn it into a joke, or he would have to kick Sam unconscious and make him forget everything about this conversation.

He moved on the couch, settling himself next to Sam.

"Friend? Yeah, I think you could say that." Gabriel sighed "We were close."

"And why did you have to leave her?"

"Oh, you know Sammy, all that Heavenly bull crap; she was born for higher purposes etcetera, etcetera." Gabriel tried to fend off the question.

"Yeah, I wonder what kind of purpose can be higher than being an archangel's vessel... Wait a second! A woman, with high heavenly purposes, who talked to the Archangel Gabriel about two thousand years ago?"

The archangel chuckled softly: "Well, aren't you the smart one, I think I may have to kill you now, since you seem to know too much already."

Two thousand years ago he was still living among his brethren, even though one of his beloved brothers had been cast away from Heaven. It was then that things began to shatter. Lucifer wasn't around anymore, spreading out his light, he was working on creating demons, those who would corrupt and bring death and destruction. These creatures had already started to surface from The Pit, attracted by the Light, making deals with naïve and fragile humans who, broken by misery, were ready to give their core, their most precious part: their souls for a promise of wealth, fame or beauty.

Gabriel loved Lucifer and losing him had been an opened wound but what his brother was doing was plainly wrong. Lucifer was just trying to prove a point, and he knew it, determined to show everyone that humanity was nothing but corruption, that humans weren't worthy of being a part of their Father's Creation. Some angels then began to support Lucifer's ideas, even Raphael, once the Great Healer, said that Lucifer's exile was unfair.

In Heaven, it was a time of chaos and turmoil, of tempests and God decided to step in. He ordered his oldest son, Michael, to imprison Lucifer in a cage, into the very heart of the earth. And, as the good son he was, Michael obeyed, unable to say « no » to his Father.

God then commanded Gabriel to fly down to Earth for an important mission. He was supposed to deliver a news to a young girl, that she was to give birth to a special child, a child who would teach humans about Light and Darkness, about Right and Wrong. About love as well. Those were God's words to Gabriel.

But bringing this news was but a small part of Gabriel's mission: the child had to be infused with Grace. Therefore, Gabriel was to spend nine months on earth, using the girl as his vessel, carrying the child in her womb.

But then the archangel met Maryam, and everything changed. She was different, like no others, her heart so pure and her soul so beautiful. He spent so many times just watching her, such a loyal heart to her family and precious ones. Sometimes he would run away with her at night, unbinding her hair, both simply walking under the moon, dreams of freedom on Mary's lips, a freedom she would never have.

And they talked. Maryam loved his stories about Heaven and angels, about places she would never visit. Gabriel started to feel an attachment to this girl, even though he was not supposed to, but what could he do about it? He started to break rules, to show her the world, the pyramids of Egypt and the waterfalls of North America, the endless plains between Europe and Asia, the gentle giant whales of the Oceans.

The more time Gabriel spent with her, the more doubts were entering his heart. With every passing day he understood how Heaven was just using her, as she was the first who would be able to contain an angel's true form, the first who would hear their true voice.

"You know, you don't have to say yes to me, right? I can feel that you don't want to."

"And you know, you don't have to return to Heaven, right? I also see that you don't want to," she was smiling and her smile was brighter than Heaven's light.

"We would both get into trouble. They won't leave us alone."

"And that is exactly why I'm going to say yes. I will fulfill my duty and, after, we both will be able to be free."

Gabriel knew that it was highly unlikely, but at least they had Hope.

But after nine months, the boy was born and Gabriel was forced out of the vessel by other archangels. He managed to escape, successfully hiding from them, but it was the last time he merged with Mary. When he tried to visit her later, he found out that her memories had been tampered with. She still remembered talking with the archangel but everything about her was now dry, emotionless, she acted as if they had never shared friendship and dreams once, as if everything had only been a simple business matter, no connection ever between them.

Gabriel could have tried to restore her memories, but he decided that it was probably better this way. She was safe and happy with her newborn child, she named it Yeshua. At least it was what Gabriel thought.

"Well, what happened next, you probably heard of." The archangel sighed.

Sam was looking at Gabriel, unable to speak. He was surprised, and wasn't sure why exactly : was it because he was hearing the true facts of a such an important story, a story that happened more than two thousand years ago or because it had came from the archangel's lips, the archangel that he thought was all about sarcasm and dubious jokes. Sam was now seeing a new side to Gabriel.

"Ok Sammy, bed story time is over, now it's time for sleep and for a new shining day to arise, where you won't remember anything I said." Gabriel smiled, moving his hand towards the hunter's forehead.

But Sam grabbed his hand halfway, locking it in his own palm.

"Why? Why do you want me to forget?" Sam asked.

"Oh come on, look at me! I'm the _**Trickster**_!" Gabriel sneered "I have a reputation to maintain, I can't let people walk around knowing this side of my personality!"

"No…"

Sam didn't ask Gabriel anything, he just looked into the angel's eyes. And there was no fear, no mockery in Sam's eyes, only confidence and understanding. This made the archangel gulp.

They remained like this for a few seconds, only staring at each other, as if trying to read each others minds, then Sam suddenly noticed that he was still holding the archangel's hand in his own and blushed, turning away from him.

"I… I think I found some lead to the witch" He said finally, letting Gabriel's hand go and focusing on his laptop's screen.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello again! Here the chapter 7! So, last chapter I promised some lemons, so there they are. Warning: This chapter has adult content. Voyeurism, masturbation. So hope you will enjoy it =)**

**And many thanks again to my awesome beta Annwyn!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

**In which Dean could have won a contest but has to deal with some interior designer's silly idea instead. Meanwhile, Castiel finds out something about himself he never really gave much thoughts about before**

Dean was slowly starting to get used to the fact that he was currently in a foreign body. It was still inconvenient sometimes, of course it was, but now the hunter mostly thought about this whole mess as a joke. _"If there's any kind of aiming contest, closed eyes and while pissing,"_ he thought, laughing in his mind, _"I would surely win_". Once or twice curiosity took over the older Winchester and he took a peak. He didn't feel too bad about it either, because, oh come on, guys always feel this kind of urge to compare, and of course Dean often saw other men's cocks, while watching porn. "_Sonofabitch!"_ He thought. _"Having something like __**that**__ in your pants and never put it to use? That should be considered a crime"_. Now Dean felt it was his duty to try and take Castiel to a brothel again, especially knowing that Jimmy was no longer Castiel's roommate. So, maybe yes, there was something positive in not having Jimmy around anymore.

But, by the end of the third day, he realized that he was wrong. Again. They had moved to yet another town, because Bobby had found a new hunt. Meanwhile, Gabriel and Sam had discovered that the witch was no longer around: she probably knew spells allowing her to travel fast and right now she could be anywhere in the country. Well, to tell the truth she probably could be anywhere in the world.

Dean was actually happy about it. Well, not about the witch's unknown whereabouts obviously, but about having a new job to take care of. He wasn't good at research at all, lacked the patience, so Sam, Gabriel and Bobby were their only hope to locate the bitch (Balthazar said that his schedule was too busy for helping, thank you very much, and that there was no way he would miss his SPA for something so meaningless). Dean just wanted, and needed, to keep himself busy while the others were happily geeking around and that's why, when Bobby called about a new job, Dean didn't even hesitate nor had any second thoughts as he packed his stuff and hit the road. This job was a simple salt and burn after all, he easily could do it alone.

His new motel room wasn't much different from the hundreds of other "lovely" places Dean had already lived in. It looked pretty simple but clean, with wallpapers in a neutral shade of green and furniture made of light fake wood.

It was late in the evening when they arrived, Dean felt tired and just wanted to climb on his bed and sleep till the next morning, but something was disturbing him.

"Man, this stench is killing me," he sighed out loud, "and it doesn't come from the room does it?"

Castiel looked at the hunter, tilting his head. He was sitting on the second bed, flipping the pages of a heavy looking book whose cover was in a miserable state (was it the third book he had been reading? Or maybe the fifth by now?). After spending a moment staring at Dean, he sniffed around the room, moving his head in an attempt to locate the source of the smell. When he finally moved it down, sniffing his own borrowed body, his face gave a jerk before a grimace, definitively suggesting disgust according to Dean, appeared on said face.

The hunter himself didn't have to think very hard about where this smell came from, as he perfectly knew it. It was already his third day without a shower, because he just couldn't bring himself to get one. Every time he dared entering a bathroom, staring at the shower cabin, he found himself turning around and leaving, because he couldn't imagine how he could strip this body and wash it, touching it in non-so appropriate places. And the most frightening was the fact that Dean perfectly knew that sooner or later he will have to do it, before generating a biohazard zone around him.

As for Castiel, he most likely never thought about the whole matter, being an angel he never had to endure petty human annoyances such as sweating and, if he ever had, he probably would have cleaned his body in less than a second, thanks to celestial mojo, not bothering with anything like showers. But now, with his powers gone, he had to experience all the negative sides of being a human.

"Well, I think one more day of hanging back, and the smell will start to kill us," the hunter admitted. "I will go first."

And Dean rose from his bed, took some clean clothes from his duffle before reluctantly moving towards the bathroom.

"Sonofabitch!" He swore when he opened the door to a small room with a sink, a toilet bowl and a shower cabin. "What kind of freak does _**this**_?"

A full length mirror was fixed there, in the bright white room, right on one of the walls of the shower cabin.

Castiel's eyes followed Dean on his way to the bathroom. He was new to these human needs. Even two years ago, when he was cut off from heaven, enough of his grace had remained to take care of his body's primal functions. But now, being totally human, the situation was different. Now he had to eat, to breathe, to use bathroom and, as he just found out, to bathe. But unlike Dean, being in someone's else body wasn't that much disturbing for him.

Castiel heard Dean swearing for the next three minutes, before he came rushing from the bathroom. The hunter still had some soap on his head and was trying to clean it with a towel, mumbling something about inconveniences with showering eyes closed.

"Your turn now," he said grumpily. "And try not to watch, all right?"

"Dean," Castiel smiled, "I rebuilt this body cell by cell, I know every freckle on it."

"Dude, just shut up, ok? You're not supposed to say that kind of things out loud!" Dean explained, throwing a pair of clean jeans and a t-shirt at the angel. Then, after a short moment of hesitation, he also fished out a pair of clean boxers from his duffel.

"Don't return it," he said giving his underwear. "Or it should be the underwear I currently wear that I should give to you. Or throw away. Man, it's all so fucked up!"

Castiel nodded, accepting the clothes, but he wasn't entirely sure if the gesture meant he agreed with Dean's words, not simply understanding them. He then stood up and casually walked to the bathroom, which was still heated and filled with steam after Dean's shower.

Castiel never experienced showering but he knew the concept. He undressed himself and step into the cabin, turning the water on. He had to spend some time toying with the lever, adjusting the water temperature, before he could find the one suitable for him and only then he relaxed under the rushing stream.

The feeling was very pleasant. It wasn't like Castiel hadn't been able to explore human's senses before; but he could control them back then, choosing to block them or allowing them to surface, making himself more or less "connected" with his vessel. And if one had the opportunity to repress any uncomfortable sensations, like pain, why not doing it all the time? But right now the tiny shadow left of his grace was totally focused on his body, making him able to feel everything so well, enhancing sensations and sending small electrical charges down his spine.

Castiel took some shower gel and started to rub it on his chest, making mental notes that it was even more pleasant then warm water alone, sliding his hands down a body that should be so well known, but yet discovering some unfamiliar curves of Dean's muscles. Suddenly, when one of his hands reached the stomach of this current vessel, he let out a small whimper. Castiel jerked his hand away, surprised, feeling his heart beating faster in his chest.

The angel gulped. Of course he saw this body before, but touching it this way was something completely new and different. The feelings brought by hands moving on its skin - it was overwhelming.

Castiel wasn't sure what to do. He needed to resume cleaning up, but he couldn't do it without touching himself and the pleasure born out of these simple touches felt wrong somehow. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and decided to give it another try, washing the stomach and the sides of Dean's body. But when his hand reached a lower part, his hips suddenly jerked forward, on their own accord, sending a huge bolt of something warm down to his crouch and yet another whimper came out of his mouth.

Castiel opened his eyes and looked down, and suddenly regretted it, as he saw an already hardening member twitching between his legs. The view made his knees shake, he felt his legs starting to weaken and it was more and more difficult to hold his own weight. Castiel had seen this specific part of Dean's body before, but its current condition was absolutely new to the angel, he didn't expect it to be so baffling. The angel leaned his back against one of the shower cabin's walls, trying to catch his breath and hardly managing. Turning his head, he saw his reflection in the mirror. When he first had entered the shower, the mirror had been weeping with condensed steam, but now water was rushing down its surface, cleaning it and thus showing him so clearly every curve on Dean's body. The face reflected was red because of hot water and embarrassment, showing pupils widened and darkened by lust, nearly hiding all the green of these eyes. Water was flowing down on this face, huge drops caressing his nose and parted lips.

His eyes moved down to Dean's hips. From this angle the erected member looked even more tempting. The angel couldn't tear his gaze away from the sight before him, he knew that he shouldn't look, he tried to turn his head but simply couldn't. On the contrary, the more he looked at Dean's body, the more he realized that he just didn't want to look anywhere else, that looking wasn't enough, that he had a urge to touch, to caress. He knew it would be wrong, not because it was a sin, masturbation wasn't a sin but yet another myth created by humans. It was wrong only because of Dean, the older Winchester for sure wouldn't appreciate it, he would be angry at Castiel and he would be scared of the angel's thoughts towards him, of his new found desires.

"If, of course, he ever finds out. But what if he _**never**_ will?" Temptation whispered into Castiel's ears.

He shook his head; the idea that he could do this behind Dean's back was even worse that doing this at all. The angel closed his eyes, trying to focus but it didn't help. Nothing could drag him from his thoughts, from the fire raging in his whole body.

"I need to wash it anyway." He thought, reaching for more shower gel with a shaking hand and gathering it on his palm. Slowly, biting his lower lip in a vain attempt to think about something else, he moved his hand down, reaching the erected member.

The touch sent a hundred pleasurable discharges through his spine, right to his brains. He moaned, grateful, in a distant corner of his head, for the sound of running water, as his palm carefully wrapped Dean's cock and slowly started to move. "I will just wash it… just wash," he was whispering to himself, breathing heavily.

But then it became impossible to stop. Castiel opened his eyes again, turning his head towards the mirror, and the sight of Dean slowly working on his erection turned him on even more, albeit a moment ago he thought it would be impossible.

Castiel's second hand started to slide over Dean's whole body, he was imagining that he was touching Dean and was touched by Dean at the same time. The angel had never tried to masturbate before, his first attempt was sloppy, uncertain, but then he figured the exact pressure, steading his pumps in a slow rhythm, squeezing the tip of Dean's penis every time his palm was moving towards it.

Castiel forgot how to breathe. The body he was currently occupying was gasping for air from time to time, as a simple reflex. He closed his eyes, letting his imagination taking over. He could picture Dean here with him, he could see Dean caressing him, kissing him all over his chest, his neck, how his hand would squeeze his ass. But just a small moment and even his imagination started to fade away, as his hand was starting to move faster and faster with every pump. All his brain could do now was only repeating several words: "_Dean, please, more, want, good_", as a mantra, as a spell which would save his life. Every move of his hand was making him feel good, but something else was building up in him rapidly, he wasn't sure what it was, but somehow knew it was something he would crave for.

At the last moment, before his brain shut off, he managed to catch his wrist with his teeth, to muffle any sound, as he yelled out. Castiel felt something exploding inside, thousands colorful fireworks flashed in his eyes. His back arched, all his muscles cramped in a spasm with something so unbelievably good, so overwhelming that is seemed he could easily die of it. He collapsed on the wet bottom of the shower cabin, breathing hard. His mind was still blank, and for some more time his head wouldn't function properly, but when it started to, panic seized the angel.

What did he just do? He went to shower and ended up self-satisfying, thinking about Dean. Moreover, he did it while possessing the hunter's body. Castiel couldn't deny that he felt affection towards the older Winchester, that this affection was nothing compared to his feelings towards any other being in the world, but he always thought it was because he raised the human from the Hell, because Dean's soul had been touched by his own Grace, because of their profound bond. But _**wanting**_... This was something he wouldn't even have dared to think about before.

Castiel was scared. He knew that he had to leave the bathroom and face Dean. He had no idea how he would be able to look into the hunter's eyes now. What if Dean somehow finds out what happened? That he abused his body in this way. What if he had heard the angel's moans even through the walls of the shower cabin and the door of the bathroom, even though the rush of the water?

Castiel looked around: he was still standing on his four, shaking and trying to catch his breath. Thin threads of white cum were slowly drifting towards the drain hole. He looked at his wrist, noticing there a noticeable red print made by his teeth. How will he be able to explain _**this**_ to Dean?

Castiel was screwed.

Finally he found some strength to stand up. He quickly resumed his washing and went out the shower cabin, drying himself with a towel and then dressed himself in Dean's clothes. Before exiting the small steamy room he looked at himself in the mirror above the sink. His eyes already looked normal again, with normal sized pupils, but his face was still flushed red. Well, he could try to pretend it was because of the hot water.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped out the bathroom.

When Castiel found Dean spread on his bed and asleep, he thanked his father. Not that his Father had anything to do with Dean's sleep but mostly as a habit.


	8. Chapter 8

**And here a new chapter for you. I really happy for all you comments and favs ^^ Thank you guys! Once again beta'ed by Annwyn.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

**In which Sam and Castiel behave strangely and Dean tries to find out why.**

When Dean woke up the next morning it was around 9 AM. He hadn't planned to sleep that long, but apparently he just passed out after a long exhausting drive and a quick warm shower, not even setting the alarm on. Dean was enjoying it though, as he too rarely managed to get ten hours of sleep in a row. No more trace of weariness remained in his body and his head felt light and refreshed, his eyes weren't hurting and the bed sheets felt incredibly soft against his skin. Even the bird chirping on the other side of the window didn't sound annoying to his ears – it was a perfect morning.

The hunter stretched on the bed, looking around the room. Castiel was still asleep on the second bed, spread like a starfish, and the sight made Dean grin. He would have loved to take a picture of Castiel like that, for blackmail purposes, but under their current predicament such pictures would be stupid, as he wouldn't be able to blackmail anyone but himself with it.

Something about Castiel seemed off though. Well... apart from him still being in Dean's body or being cut off from his angelic powers. The angel was sleeping peacefully in the bed, blankets abandoned but strangely wearing a long-sleeved shirt above the tee shirt Dean gave to Castiel the day before. In fact, said long sleeved shirt was the one Dean himself had been wearing yesterday. Why would the angel pick a dirty shirt to sleep in? Well this was Castiel after all... the guy could be weird at times, acting in ways that were alien for simple humans. Dean decided that it was probably nothing but just one more of these _Castielish_ things.

Looking around the room, Dean spotted an old radio clock on one of the nightstands between the two beds. A wide grin appeared on his face, full of mischief, and he turned the volume of the radio to the maximum, before turning it on. The room suddenly filled with the loud music of some kind of pop song currently airing, making Castiel jump on his bed, looking around the room with huge, scared eyes.

"Rise and shine little angel! Rise and shine!" Dean laughed, putting jeans on.

Castiel looked confused for a moment, glancing around the room, trying to find the source of such terrible noises and, upon finding the offending objet, he started to press every buttons in attempt to turn it off. When he finally figured how to do it, he just laid back, with his back facing the hunter.

"Hey, time to wake up!" Dean commanded. "We finally have work to do!"

"I don't feel good, Dean," the angel whispered. "May I stay in bed?"

Dean stood from his bed, after finishing to tie up his shoelaces and walked close to Castiel, putting his hand on the angel's forehead. Castiel, for some reason, cringed under Dean's touch.

"Well, nothing wrong with your temperature apparently" Dean resumed "Is your stomach disturbing you? Maybe a headache?"

"No. Neither," Castiel replied.

"What is it then?"

"Dean, it's nothing, really" Castiel shook his head "I just feel like staying here, that's all."

Dean sighed, looking at his friend. Castiel was resting on his bed quietly, his nose turned towards the wall. Dean knew the angel well, it was weird to admit, but he did. The way Castiel was behaving meant that he wasn't sick or in pain but that something was disturbing him. And yes, it was understandable. Poor guy was cut off heaven again, powerless, not even in a body he was used to wear and comfortable with. Well, there were probably hundreds of other reasons that could upset Castiel. Dean didn't exactly want to start questioning the angel, because talking about feelings? Not really his area. But at least he could try to cheer up Castiel, somehow.

"Ok Cas," he nodded, "I'm not gonna ask you anymore questions, but you're getting out of bed now and into the bathroom, you're going to brush your teeth and we are going out to eat."

"Dean…" Castiel moaned in protest.

"I am going to bathroom and when I return I want to see you out of the bed."

And, on these words, the hunter disappeared in the bathroom.

Dean looked at the mirror above the sink. The familiar face of a certain holy tax accountant was looking straight back at him, with familiar deep blue eyes. Castiel always looked like he hadn't shaved for a couple days but now it was even worse. Today he might need to interrogate people, maybe have to pretend to be a federal agent again, so there was no way he was going to do it unshaved and so casual looking. He took the shaving foam and started to spread it on his cheeks.

The result was actually quite surprising, now his face looked at least five years younger than before, more handsome. Ok, maybe thinking « handsome » about an angel's face didn't sound right at all. Sure, it could have been allowed once or twice but it wouldn't be the first time for Dean's treacherous mind and so it wasn't ok, most likely. And maybe it was wrong as well to stare that long at another man's face, studying its every single feature but really, Dean couldn't help it. Well wasn't it fair after all, when Castiel knew "every single freckle" on Dean's body? The hunter shook his head as he realized he was starting to stare at the other man's lips and that was definitively wrong, according to him.

When Dean returned in the main room, Castiel was sitting on a chair, fully clothed and looking absently at the window.

"Your turn!" The older Winchester exclaimed.

ooo

Castiel still seemed very disturbed. He was sitting in front of Dean in a small café, picking at his pancakes, not tearing his gaze away from his plate. The angel was still wearing the long sleeved shirt, even though it was a pretty warm day, in fact the weather today was more reminding of summer than spring.

Castiel had figured how to shave himself but, as expected, did a pretty poor job at it : several areas didn't looked so clean and some were covered in small cuts. This, added to his terrible mood, meant he was in no condition to interact with eventual witnesses today. So, most likely Dean would have to send him back to the motel.

"You don't like pancakes?" Dean inquired, as the silence between them was becoming too tense to handle.

"No, I like them" Castiel shrugged and, proof to his words, brought one more piece of food to his mouth.

"Damn it, man! Did you have a nightmare today, or what?" Dean growled.

"Yes, I think it was a nightmare." Castiel agreed, tone absolutely blank.

"Whatever, you don't want to tell me, fine, I don't care."

Dean stuffed his mouth with his bacon sandwich, trying to distract himself from a growing anger building up within. And there he was, thinking about how wonderful his day had started. But with Castiel's current mood the morning was now totally ruined and it was a bad omen for the hunt awaiting them today.

ooo

"Geez, Sam!" Dean breathed, opening the motel room. "You scared the crap out of me! Couldn't you call before appearing out of nowhere?"

Sam was sitting on a chair with his laptop opened and a notebook, writing something down, when Dean found him inside the motel room. Their motel room which had been locked. Dean didn't expect his brother to be back and nearly jumped out his skin when he opened the door and saw him.

"Sorry, Gabe...riel sent me back before I had time to ask him for his phone to warn you. And I didn't have mine with me to call you." Sam apologized, not turning his head away from his notes. "We thought you might need my help."

"Oh, ok" Dean nodded throwing his keys on the bed and reaching for his duffel.

Castiel followed Dean into the room, going straight towards his bed. When he reached it, he just took off his shoes and climbed under the blanket, without saying a single word, face turned towards the wall again. Dean decided to ignore it and he was actually pretty sure that Sam would say something and ask Castiel what was wrong, but his brother remained silent. The atmosphere in the room reeked of tension, as if both his brother and the angel had a terrible news to deliver to Dean, not quite managing to do it though, leaving Dean suspicious and anxious.

"Ok girls, what the hell did I miss?" Dean asked angrily. "Is it the end of the world again? Am I going to die? Dr. Sexy MD was cancelled?"

Sam turned his head towards Dean and gave him a questioning look: "What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I'm talking about the fact that you both look as cheerful as girls who got stood up on Prom night, refusing to look at me."

"No, really everything is fine, Dean" Sam smiled "Just tired. I spent half a night doing researches."

"I'm also fine…" Castiel mumbled from under the blanket. But, unlike Sam, he didn't sound convincing at all.

Dean would have argued with Castiel, but it was already getting late, so both hunter quickly changed into something more formal (For Dean it had to be Castiel's old cheap suit because it was the only one which would actually fit him), and left the motel.

"How is the search for the witch going?" inquired Dean as they were driving towards the address Bobby gave them. Sam was gazing through the window and seemed like he didn't hear his brother. "Sam?"

Sam flinched hearing his name and turned his head towards Dean : "Sorry, didn't hear what you said."

"Never mind, Sammy" sighed Dean. "You sure there is nothing you want to tell me?"

Sam surprisingly gave his brother a « non bitchy » look and, for a second, Dean was sure that his brother was going to spit out what was bothering him. Probably more than Dean would like to know.

But then Sam shook his head: "It's really nothing, Dean" He resumed. "It's nothing of your concern, really, just my own crap."

"So, no demons hunting you, no terrible nightmares, Gabriel isn't a total dick to you?"

"No, he is not."

"Good, I think that's all I need to know."

Dean sighed with relief. It really seemed like his brother was telling the truth. So, yeah maybe something was disturbing him, but nothing of the dangerous sort, probably something about feelings haunting the heart of the giant girl Sam was, clearly nothing Dean was an expert at. Well, at least his baby brother didn't go ignoring everything around him, dead to the word, as Castiel was currently doing.

ooo

"I so blame you for this one, Sammy" Growled Dean, filling his mouth with whiskey.

Sam was sitting behind Dean on a bed, stitching up a huge cut on his brother's back. After figuring out who was the ghost and where his bones remained, they went to the cemetery to burn the son of a bitch and that would have went well, if not for Sam who, being on watch duty, didn't have failed to notice the ghost approaching. Dean was sent several feet high up in the air and painfully landed on a broken glass bottle. Probably his most shameful injury to this day.

Eventually the bones were burned and the spirit was sent to rest, but Dean was angry.

"I told you, I'm sorry." Sam mumbled.

Of course Dean perfectly knew that blames were meaningless but he was just pissed and aggressive, needing to blow it off.

Castiel was still sitting on his bed, only daring to leave the book his eyes were currently glued to for a few brief seconds, quickly moving his glaze from one brother to other one from time to time. Dean decided that he should just let his anger burst into full force and burn every damn book in the room as the now familiar picture of the angel, wearing Dean's own face, lost in a book really started to get on his nerves. He really would love to stand up and throw the book away, outside the window, away from the angel who, by the way, was still wearing the dirty long sleeved shirt he took off the day before.

But right at this moment Sam finished with his brother's back and his phone started to ring. The younger hunter peaked at the screen and Dean noticed a note of something definitively labeled as nervous on his brother's face.

"Hey Gabe!" Sam said, bringing the phone to his ear. "Yeah, sure, I can come back now. Oh, I will just need to warn my bro…"

And Sam disappeared from the room. Well, at least this time his phone disappeared along with him, plus Dean, having perfectly heard Gabriel's nickname, at least knew of his brother whereabouts. Of course he still didn't like Sam hanging out with the archangel, but he just knew where to search for his brother if needed.

"Ok, little genius!" he addressed towards Castiel "leave your damn book alone and let's go and find something to eat, I'm starving."

"You may go, I wish to stay…" Castiel informed.

And thus died Dean's patience. He rushed towards his friend, grabbing the stupid volume from the angel's hands, tossing in on the floor with one hand, and grabbing Castiel's wrist with the other, pulling him out of bed.

"What the hell, dude?" He asked, still holding the angel by the wrist. "No, don't even think about giving me that crap about how everything is fine and perfect! I'm freaking tired of you two today and, well, my bro having just ran away, now you gonna answer me."

Castiel looked terrified, his eyes were looking everywhere around the room but at Dean, his cheeks covering in a red blush.

"Ok, man, I don't have all night here to play games, I'm hungry! So hurry up and spit it out… and take off this shirt, it's dirty and reeks of sweat!"

Castiel's eyes went wide as Dean said it. "No!" He burst out.

"No?" Dean said irritated. At this point his patience was since long gone so he just groaned and started pulling the shirt off. Castiel tried to resist at first, but then he met Dean's angry eyes and just stopped moving.

But Dean noticed that, after taking the shirt off, the angel started to hide one hand behind his back, so he just grabbed said hand unceremoniously, trying to find out what Castiel was hiding from him.

"What the hell it _**this**_?" the older Winchester demanded, staring at a blue spot on Castiel's arm. Taking a closer look he actually realized what it was, as he noticed it was a circle expanding around teeth prints. It was a bite mark. But where Castiel could have gotten it and, most importantly, from who? Did he disappear somewhere, while Dean was sleeping? Well, of course it wasn't like he wanted to know the angel's every move, like a jealous wife, but this was about _**his**_ body and he deserved to know.

"Cas? Where did you get this?" Dean asked again, trying to meet the angel's eyes, as he was still waiting for an answer. "Where have you been yesterday?"

"Nowhere!"

"Don't lie to me, it's my body we are talking about, I have a right to know. Who did this?"

"I swear Dean, no one." The smaller man whimpered in a high pitch. Dean didn't even know his body was able to produce such a sound. Then he closed his eyes and finally admitted: "I did it myself".

"Why?"

"You will hate me if I tell you," the angel resumed after a pause, still keeping his eyes closed.

"Oh, what could have happened to make me hate you? It's not like you could masturbate in a shower staring at my body and biting ..." And then Dean stopped. What he had meant to be a joke abruptly sounded like a rational explanation . The fact that Castiel's eyes closed for a second, before reopening with a hint of panic, face faintly blushing, didn't leave any doubts. "Oh…" Dean only managed, as he looked at his friend's face. "You _**did**_… didn't you?"

"Dean, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. Everything have been so hard and tense after I lost my powers, and the feeling of hot water on skin was so good…" Castiel looked pathetic : as he wished to become invisible or prayed to be able to fly away. Dean had a feeling that the other man was going to start crying any moment now, overwhelmed by shame and panic.

And suddenly a laugh burst out from Dean's lips. And he was laughing so hard that tears appeared in the corner of his eyes.

"Dude!" He managed to say finally. "Why do I end up laughing every time we associate you to sex? »

Castiel was looking at Dean, surprised, not quite understanding what happened: "I was sure you wouldn't like it"

"Well, Cas," Dean tapped the angel's shoulder "I mean, yeah, it's creepy and I feel totally stupid, knowing you were, em… touching my body this way, but It's ok, really, I understand. Seriously. It's just, just a normal human need, all right? It happens with every guy, so no worries!"

The angel slowly nodded absorbing his words: "My body had those needs before, but it never felt so tense. I was always able to start thinking about something else and then the feeling would go away" He was trying to explain.

"Umm, wait, you're telling me that not only you've never been with a woman before, but you never jerked off?" Castiel tilted his head, staring at the hunter.

Dean was starting to think that Castiel just didn't understand the meaning of the words "jerking off" but then Castiel simply answered: "no."

Normally, Dean should have told Castiel about how it was his duty to bring the angel to another brothel, as soon as their witch hunting was done, no telling to another soul, but suddenly, another question came to his head and lips :"Did you… did you like it?" He asked and then swore loudly inside for not keeping his mouth shut.

Castiel gulped, looking at the hunter right in the eyes before pronouncing a single word, nearly whispering it: "Yes" he nodded.

And Dean's heart stopped for a moment. What the hell had just happened? Why did he have to ask this question? There was no way he was interested in knowing if Castiel had liked it or not and there was no way that a positive answer should start turning him on.

Suddenly the hunter's stomach started to growl loudly. Dean actually thanked his hunger for saving him. "Dinner time! Let's go!" He smirked, trying to look calm and mundane.


	9. Chapter 9

**Well, I dunno what to say here. Enjoy the chapter 9!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

**In which Dean experiences a very frustrating dream and feathered dinosaurs are mentioned**

The room was mostly dark, illuminated only by several candles on a table standing somewhere not far away from Dean. The room itself was familiar: small, with cheap wallpapers and a subtle smell of cigarettes, but the hunter wasn't sure he could remember where he was exactly. It was probably just another motel room, most probably a very cheap one, because the hunter rarely had a chance to sleep somewhere else. Dean wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings anyway, captivated by the sight of the other person in the room.

The way the candle's light was playing with shadows and shades in these otherworldly blue eyes was bewitching, making Dean drowning in them. These full pink lips were slightly parted, whispering Dean's name, black hair disheveled, sticking in every direction.

"I know you liked it when you did it to yourself," Dean whispered huskily in the angel's ear. He was laying on the bed, on top of Castiel, hungrily rubbing the angel's side with one of his palm, while another was placed on the other man's chin. "But you will _**love**_ it if someone else does it to you."

Castiel moaned underneath the hunter and gasped out his name. Dean made a mental note of how beautiful Castiel was like this, with this lustful but still somehow ashamed, shy look on his face. They both were still wearing clothes but Castiel's shirt was already unbuttoned, leaving to plain sight his bare pale chest, nearly perfect, corrupted only by the scar of the angel banishing sigil he had once carved into his skin. His arms were laying on the pillow above his head, tied up with his own blue tie to the headboard and his face was colored with a heavy blush.

"Dean, please, we can't, it is wrong, it is immoral." The angel's eyes were filled with fright, yet it was mixed with excitement. "I'm an angel; I should not do this."

"So you're going to tell me you don't want it?" The hunter grinned widly as he grabbed Castiel's already hard member through the fabric of his slacks. Castiel arched his back and moaned loudly at the touch. "I think you're lying."

"No, Dean." The angel was begging but there was absolutely no convinction in his words. "Please stop…"

Dean wasn't even thinking about stopping, as he perfectly knew that both of them wanted the same thing. And this same thing was each other. Castiel was trapped on the bed, imprisoned under the weight of the hunter's body and by his tied up hands. But if the angel had really wanted to stop Dean, he could have gotten his hands free, or at least try harder than by using words only. But Castiel wasn't.

"Just admit it, you enjoy it, don't you?" Dean was grinning, while rubbing Castiel's length, making him shiver even more. "And I'm not gonna stop. Do you know what I'm gonna do to you?" Castiel didn't answer, he only gasped, all air painfully leaving his lungs at once, before filling them again, looking into Dean's jade green eyes. Dean teasingly found his way back to the angel's ear, whispering: "I'm gonna fuck you, Castiel, fuck your tight ass. Nice and hard. I will make you moan and scream, I will cum inside you, and more importantly – I'm gonna make you love it!"

Upon those words Castiel whimpered and gulped, closing his eyes. "Dean…" He only managed to gasp.

The hunter smirked, starting to place wet kisses on the angel's neck, slowly moving down to his collarbone and chest. Every reaction from Castiel, every little moan was turning him on so much, he couldn't remember having ever felt such a sweet tension or simply imagining it possible.

Dean must have been totally gone at some point, because he didn't remember removing clothes from the both of them, he didn't remember turning the angel around. One moment he was kissing Castiel's abdomen and a second later the angel was standing on his knees, back turned to Dean. The angel's hands were still tied up to the headboard,

"Please, Dean…" Castiel was begging. "Don't… look at me like that."

"Oh, I'm so totally not _**just**_ gonna look!" the hunter laughed and moved forwards, grabbing the smaller man by his hips. Dean didn't think about it being Castiel's first time or about lube. In fact his own penis was already lubricated enough, so he just slid easily inside the angel in one rough move, making Castiel scream Dean's name.

~ooo~

Dean's body jerked violently and he opened his eyes. The candle lit room disappeared, along the angel. Now he was laying in a bed, alone and fully closed, and it was dark. In a few seconds he realized that he was in the motel room they stopped at the day before yesterday and that everything had just been a dream. Dean decided to just close his eyes and to return to sleep.

Wait, what?

The hunter's eyes suddenly opened once again, widely. "Holly crap!" he thought. "Fucking hell!" Dean probably repeated all the swearing words he could think of, after realizing what kind of dream he just had, unable to believe it. The most terrible fact was that he was still turned on so badly a whimper was threatening to escape his lips. Dean stood from the bed, rushing to the fridge, where cold bears were awaiting him. He swung it open, grabbing a bottle, trying to remain still and quiet, as panic was rising inside. The picture of a very naked Castiel kept coming to his mind, no matter how hard he tried to banish it away. How in hell did he dream of something like _**that **_in the first place? Well, ok, maybe there was an explanation: he **currently inhabited the angel's body**! And plus it might be because of this conversation they had earlier, during the evening, just before going to bed. Yeah, it could explain things, but that didn't make anything ok! It was stupid. So stupid: the hunter didn't do relationships, this dream just was a terrible and treacherous joke made by his subconscious, maybe even a side effect of the spell. Dean started to blame everything he could think of, to make him feel better.

The hunter quickly finished his bear with big gulps, throat feeling sore, and glanced at the second bed, where Castiel was still sleeping, snoring quietly. As Dean's heartbeats slowly started to calm down and as his mind cleared a little, he found himself wondering if the snores were really Castiel's or if they were just caused by Dean's body. Sam often complained that Dean was a noisy sleeper but Sam could just had been picking on him. So, most likely, Dean would never know the answer to this question. And it wasn't like he was actually interested in finding it in the first place.

The older Winchester left the empty bottle on the table and returned to his bed. He was very horny, even after a cold drink. Opposed to what he had hoped, the beer made him even more relaxed, only aggravating the situation. Dean bit his lower lip, trying really hard not to think that he was technically biting Castiel's lip. But he sure wasn't going to forget that other important parts of this body belonged to the angel and, for this reason; there was no way he was going to do something about his already painful erection. Yes, maybe Castiel did, but it was Castiel, so naïve about anything involving sex. The guy just got easily upset or overwhelmed where emotions were involved. It didn't mean Dean could do anything, relax and enjoy it. Especially not after the dream he just had.

Therefore he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. To somehow distract himself, he started to think about his car, how he will tune her up whenever he'll get a chance. Those thoughts somehow managed to loosen his stressful body and slowly he returned to his slumber.

~ooo~

The next time Dean opened his eyes it was already morning. The sun was leaking trough a small window, illuminating the room with its bright light. The hunter stretched, looking around the room. The bed next to him was already empty. After four days living under the same roof as Castiel, Dean had noticed that the angel was a late morning person, so it could actually mean that he had overslept again. The hunter grabbed his cell from the nightstand and looked at the time. "Oh crap!" he thought as the screen was displaying 11:20AM.

Some weird noises coming from the kitchen area caught his attention. Dean rose from his bed, glancing around the thin wall separating the sleeping zone from the kitchen and noticed Castiel behind the counter. The angel looked scared, with eyes widely opened, as if he had just witnessed something terrible. For a split second, an image of his dream came back to Dean's mind, where the angel had been wearing a similar expression on his face. But it was now his own face, Dean Winchester, fearless hunter, that currently looked so frightened, not the angel's and this thought helped him to push away the image.

"Cas," The hunter called, "you all right?"

Castiel turned his head and looked at Dean: "I think I did something wrong." He admitted with a sigh. "I think that this was not supposed to happen," he nodded towards the microwave.

Dean stepped closer and opened the oven door, trying to figure what was going on. "Jeez, Cas! Did you put raw eggs into it?" he laughed.

"It isn't funny, Dean." Castiel was serious, and looked somewhat offended by Dean's reaction. "I was trying to make breakfast."

The evening before, they had decided to get a few supplies for breakfast from a grocery store, in order to avoid spending too much time in a café the next morning, before hitting the road towards Sioux Falls. Dean had just wanted to grab more sandwiches from the café they were having diner at but, for some reason, Castiel had asked if they could buy something like eggs, bacon and cheese to cook a quick meal at the motel room. Apparently it had been a bad idea. The breakfast disaster, added to the fact that Dean woke up this late, meant that they totally failed in saving time.

"It's ok, Cas, really." The hunter smiled. "You just need some practice. Look" Upon those words he reached for a small pan, conveniently hanging on a wall, washed it quickly in the sink and placed it on the stove.

"Now we need butter." He was explaining every step as he was cooking and Dean remembered how he had once taught Sam how to cook, back when they were both still kids. The memory washed over him, bringing warm feelings to his chest.

"You're very good at it." Castiel admitted, watching carefully Dean's every move, eager to learn.

"Of course, I am!" Dean smirked. "When you have a baby brother to take care of, cooking is something you learn pretty quickly." He placed several pieces of bacon in the pan, setting the temperature level on medium.

"I assume it's true" agreed Castiel. "I never had a little brother to care about or a brother who would care for me in such a way."

"Jeez, you guys up there make a pretty unhealthy family." Dean remarked. "So, no one even cared about you while you were a kid? Well, assuming, of course, that you ever were a kid."

"No, technically, no. I never changed in size since I was created. Although there was a time when everything was new and interesting," the angel smiled softly, and even blushed a little, as if remembering something silly. "I, and the other angels created at the same time, of course we had older brothers watching over us. But… it was different. I'm not sure how to explain it."

Dean nodded. "How old are you by the way?" he asked, crashing three eggs next to the bacon, already half ready.

Castiel moved closer to the wall, leaning on it with his back and looking somewhere up, as trying to remember. "Old" he finally answered with a sigh.

"So old you don't even remember how long you've been alive?"

"Let's say I remember dinosaurs walking the Earth."

Dean gave the angel an amused look and smiled, turning bacon and eggs with a spatula: "Were you guys using dinosaurs as vessels?" He asked with a smirk.

Castiel chuckled: "No, but it could have been… interesting."

"Oh yeah, I can imagine Michael as a tyrannosaur! A huge, angry lizard with feathers! »

The hunter's words actually made Castiel laugh. A true, full laughter. Dean had never heard the angel laughing like that, so openly. Of course Castiel was still in Dean's body, and the laugh still sounded mostly like Dean's, but not totally. It was Castiel laughing, in his own way, with his own expressions. Dean suddenly started to feel another wave of warmth swirling somewhere in his stomach. It was pleasant but at the same time a little bit uncomfortable, unfamiliar. Dean couldn't quite put a finger on what was this feeling but something was telling him that it wasn't right. He turned from the angel and opened a drawer, where he saw plates the day before.

"Thank you, Dean." Castiel finally said when he stopped laughing.

"For what?"

"For taking care of me…"

The pleasant warm wave came back, stronger this time, and he started to feel a blush on his cheeks. "You're welcome." He nodded, starting to lay eggs and bacon on the plate. "Here. Eat. We have only 25 minutes to leave the room or they will charge us for one more night."

Castiel accepted his plate, looking at Dean with curiosity. "Aren't you going to eat?" he asked.

"No Cas." Dean smiled. "Not hungry right now."

The stupid feeling was still there as he went towards his duffel and started to pack up their stuffs. Dean remembered several times experiencing something like this: one of those was when he and Castiel had left the brothel, after the angel had made him laugh, in a way he hadn't laughed for years; the second time was when the angel rescued him from Zachariah, after visiting one very twisted but very possible path the future could take. There were more moments like that, and every time Dean had tried to push away this strange sensation, not liking it. No, to be honest, he liked this feeling, he liked it a lot, he just didn't like liking it.


	10. Chapter 10

Guys, thank you everyone who reviewed and faved the fic! you're awesome, I love you all =D

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

** In which things appear more complicated than they seemed.**

Spring was ending and even though it was currently late at night, it was so hot here, wherever "here" was actually, that Sam felt thrown somewhere during midsummer and, within a second, he longed for a long, cold shower. He really didn't like this awful feeling of stickiness all over his skin, but all unpleasant thoughts were quickly chased away as Sam realized exactly where he had, or so it seemed, landed.

Heaps of ageless stones were bathing in the fading moon's dim light, scattered here and there, bare memories of ancient buildings, collapsed since long. To tell the truth, it wasn't even buildings any longer but only walls half crumbled and destroyed columns, supporting no roofs anymore. Nowadays, only remained a single restorated facade and they were currently standing before it, nothing more but a single wall decorated with old ornaments and beautiful ancient statues. Upon this sight, the young hunter could only imagine how sublime this building must have looked like in all its former glory.

"Is it… is it the library of Celsus, really?" Sam asked, watching in awe.

"Nah, it's not a library anymore Sammy, it's just ruins. Can't you see?" Gabriel smirked.

Sam shot a glance at his friend and sighed. Of course, those ruins had once been known as the Library of Celsus in Ephesus, in ages long past, and Sam had seen pictures of it a hundred times. But Gabriel was right, it wasn't a library anymore though, hadn't been for millennia, but a bunch of rocks and a single wall. But the archangel's attitude was annoying. It seems he was trying to piss him off on purpose. The younger Winchester just couldn't believe that, not so long ago, Gabriel had been so different, he had shared something so important with Sam, a secret from his past, showing the real Gabriel, the one hiding under layers of jokes and pranks.

Sam also couldn't believe how moved he was by Gabriel entrusting him with such a confidence. He hadn't stopped thinking about it during the past two days, nearly getting his own brother killed while he was totally lost in silly thoughts about the feathered jerk. In the middle of a hunt. Sam knew for sure he couldn't blame it on a crush or on love, having already experienced those feelings. It was something different in this case but he definitively couldn't deny the sudden flutter the archangel brought to his heart. The fact that Gabriel seemed to have completely forgotten about their whole conversation and returned to his previous mischievous temper was disturbing Sam.

Sam decided to dismiss such thoughts, bringing his attention back to the architecture. The place was truly breath-taking, wrapped in an ethereal atmosphere of mystery and everlasting wisdom, especially for someone enamoured with History. Ephesus had always been one of the places Sam dreamt about visiting once, among many others, without believing he'd never get a chance to. Now he was standing there, in the middle of the ancient city, still afraid to wake up from a dream.

But he also knew they were here for business only. Gabriel had found faint traces of the witch responsible for their brothers' current condition somewhere around here and they were only here to investigate the place.

"We will need to get to the underground level of the library" Gabriel informed.

"Underground level? But I never heard anything about it!"

"Of course you didn't!" The archangel smirked, "your scientists are not able to reach it yet! And I really doubt they will ever."

Sam couldn't believe his ears. Yes, he might not get a chance to take a look at the whole city, but an underground level of one of the biggest libraries of the past yet undiscovered or simply whose existence was never suspected? It sounded too exciting to be true. "How… how will we get there?" he asked.

"That is easy, my friend!" A third voice chuckled behind Sam.

Even if that voice totally sounded familiar, Sam couldn't help but barely repress a jump upon hearing it. He surely didn't expect anyone to sneak behind him while he was around the archangel. This thought unfortunately led to another and now the hunter was wondering exactly when he started to trust someone so blindly, when said person had spent more than two months killing and resurrecting Sam's own brother.

Sam forced himself to stop thinking about it for now and turned his head towards the other angel : "Hey Balthazar!" he nodded.

"Did you bring the crystal?" Gabriel asked with a wide smile on his face.

"Yeah, even though I think Cassie will get upset that I didn't ask before… borrowing it." Balthazar reached for something in his pocket, retrieving a slightly glowing purple stone and threw it to the archangel.

"Yeah, little Castiel went all bossy-bossy up in heaven, huh?" Gabriel chuckled. "Glad I don't need to witness that!"

"It's not that bad, even if he still has this stick up his ass, of course."

"Now I feel like a third wheel." Sam sighed, although it was nice to hear what was a teasing but warm tone when the two angels spoke about their brother. It was really pleasant and conforting to know that not all the angels were heartless assholes.

Gabriel's gaze left Balthazar and he looked into Sam's eyes. To tell the truth, the hunter was expecting some reassuring words such as _"don't worry, you're not",_ but the archangel just nodded, keeping his wide smile : "Let's go then!" He simply said.

Sam didn't know why such a little thing suddenly made him feel offended. He tried to banish this feeling, focusing on their task.

Both angels moved towards what had been, ages and ages ago, the middle of the main room of the library, searching for something. Sam was unsure of what to do, the night was bright and the building itself had once been a vast one but, still, it wasn't an easy search for his human eyes, so fallible in the dark. He decided to wait and see if the angels would require any help and, soon enough, discovered it wasn't the case, as Gabriel found pretty fast whatever they had been looking for.

"Ah, here is it!" he announced proudly. Sam moved closer, trying to get a better look at what looked like a simple crack on the floor.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

Gabriel shot a glance at the hunter for a split second and then inserted Balthazar's crystal in the crack. For a moment or two nothing happened and everything remained silent, then, suddenly, Sam started to feel the ground trembling under his feet. It didn't really feel like an earthquake as the shaking, though noticeable, wasn't enough for him to loose his balance and fall. A few seconds later and the crack on the floor started to grow bigger, before the two big stone plates there began to move from each other, revealing a stairway leading down.

The hunter's heart skipped a bit for a moment, as Sam had just witnessed something incredible, a mystery carefully kept for thousands of years. Any person alive would envy him right now.

"It has Enochian sigils inside" Balthazar explained.

"Why?" Sam inquired.

"To keep angels out. Well... those who don't have the key." The archangel explained. "The plates need to be aligned for the sigils to be completed. Only when the doorway is opened we can go in."

"So, what are we waiting for?" Sam nodded. He made a step towards the entrance but was suddenly stopped by Gabriel's hand on his shoulder.

"Sam…" he said. "I'm sorry, the three of us can't go together. If, for some reason, the door closes, all three of us would be trapped in there forever!"

Sam opened his mouth in a protest, but Gabriel had already turned away from him, disappearing inside the secret passage, right after Balthazar, who was progressing carefully, inspecting the walls on his way down.

For a second Sam remembered when, a long time ago, one of his college friends taught him how to play a game in which you had to cautiously look for and avoid traps in order to advance, something like that, but soon enough that memory was erased by an ugly emotion, that tasted like betrayal, caused by the archangel. Sam was really pissed and frustrated by the fact that he had been left behind, denied to take a look at the underground level of the library, unknown to mankind. He was a bit angry at the archangel, even knowing that Gabriel had been only right and cautious when ordering him to stay away.

Sam sighed, looking around: it was quiet. Not an unnerving and unnatural type of quiet, of the suspicious kind. He could hear a few faint but soothing noises like the rustle of grass ruffled by wind or crickets' singing. Sam was actually pretty sure he could hear the Ocean from his position, the waves gently kissing the shore. It was really upsetting, being unable to see it. The Hunter glanced at the library restorated wall once again. It was very impressive and at least he would remember this part of the legendary Greek city.

Sam was ready to wait at least half an hour, but not even five minutes had passed when the angels reappeared.

"Well?" Sam asked surprised, trying to hide his frustration.

"Well?" Balthazar repeated. "It's anything but well..."

There was definitively something wrong with the angel's voice, but Sam couldn't put a finger on what exactly. For some reason Balthazar sounded pretty disappointed. And maybe even a little bit worried.

"It's empty." Gabriel mumbled.

"Ok, and what were you supposed to find there?" Sam asked. The two angels looked at each other, lost in a silent communication. What now felt like some sort of a conspiracy was beginning to very seriously annoy Sam, he felt like he had a total right to know what was going on. Their brother alright, but his brother too, after all.

"A book." Balthazar spoke suddenly. "With some very old spells."

"What kind of spells?"

"Sam…" Gabriel started. "We honestly don't know."

"So why did we come here in the first place?"

"The spell which was cast upon Dean and Cas is pretty unusual, to say the least. I can reverse most of witches' spells, but in this case something is preventing me from doing so." Balthazar explained. "So, we decided to check out some old, supposedly forgotten, repositories."

That's exactly when Sam started to seriously worry. Of course it seemed that nothing terribly dangerous was threatening his brother, just an annoying prank, but the angel's words changed his mind.

"So, what you mean is... that witch could have found the book and used a spell from it on my brother? How dange…"

"It's nothing to worry about, Sammy!" Gabriel smiled, interrupting Sam. "Plus I bet Deano and Cassie are having a very good time!"

"Yeah, I bet!" Sam mumbled still trying to convince himself.

"Oh, come on! I made sure that every single hotel and motel they can come across have a huge mirror in the shower!"

Sam smiled slightly, imagining very clearly his brother squirming with embarrassment looking at Gabriel's mirrors. At least it was a nice revenge for all the pranks Dean pulled on him their entire life.

"Ok, I think I might check out some stuff in heaven; maybe I will find something useful." Balthazar nodded, retrieving the crystal from the crack. The floor started to shake again as the passage downstairs closed. "As usual, you didn't see me, I didn't see you!" The angel said and disappeared with a rustle of wings.

"Ok Sammy!" Gabriel smiled again. "Let's go?"

Sam nodded and closed his eyes, expecting Gabriel to teleport them back to the archangel's apartment – he had noticed that angelic airlines were less disturbing to deal with when eyes closed.

"Hey why are you standing there, eyes closed?" Gabriel asked. "Waiting for a kiss from your prince charming?"

Sam opened his eyes and spotted Gabriel near the library's exit. "Aren't you going to teleport us back?" He asked.

"You want back? I thought I could show you some stuff... like the temple of Artemis? You know, she is a hot chick actually… brushed me off several times though."

Sam was standing still, opened mouth, looking at Gabriel and unable to react. Yet again, Gabriel had left him speechless. But even though the hunter was still in shock, he somehow managed to nod, his legs carrying him to the archangel's side. So yes, it was really happening, Sam was actually allowed to stay here for some time and explore and yes, he felt really excited and happy about it.

"Want to hold hands while walking?" Gabriel smirked.

"Gabe… just shut up, alright?"

~ooo~

Every time Castiel was sure he had made a major step towards understanding humanity, Dean Winchester was pushing him back ten more steps. And now it was happening again.

At first he had been totally speechless when Castiel (how would Dean call it? Right, "fucked up") the hunter brushed it away and forgave him so easily. The angel had been sure Dean would react differently upon realizing what happened in the shower. Yet, Dean didn't. And the next morning was pretty much spent in a nice, casual mood. But now Dean was starting to act agitated, as if Castiel did something terribly wrong again.

They had been driving north towards Bobby's for about three hours already. During all this time they barely spoke. Every time Castiel had said something, Dean mumbled an intelligible reply, brief and cold, and, knowing the hunter pretty well by now, Castiel had opted for sitting quietly, looking outside through the Impala's window.

The silence was very uncomfortable. Usually Dean would turn on his music, which always seemed too loud and well, heavy, for the angel. But right now Castiel would have been more than happy for the noise.

One more half hour and Dean pulled the car to a gas station in the middle of the highway. The place wasn't big but there were several cafes around and something looking like a souvenir shop.

"Are you out of gas?" The angel inquired.

Dean briefly glanced at Castiel before turning his eyes away. "I'm hungry." He simply replied.

"But you said that you didn't…" Dean slammed the door as he left the car, "…want to eat." Castiel finished his sentence in a whisper; the hunter was no longer able to hear him anyway.

Castiel opened the door from his side and got out of the car. He had no intentions to follow Dean inside the store; he just wanted to stretch his muscles. When his vessel had been filled with his grace, his body had never felt uncomfortable, he could sit in one place for many hours and never get tired, but now it was different. His back was aching and his buttocks were sore of sitting for three hours straight, so he was actually pretty glad to have a chance to stay on his feet and move around, at least for a short amount of time.

His hand reached his pocket where it connected with the small box in which was safely kept the vial filled with his grace. This simple gesture soothed him, comforting him by the closeness of the box and its precious content. These past three days he had tried but never managed to actually tell Dean the truth. He knew he should really have done it but it never seemed to be the appropriate moment and anyway Castiel was scared to disappoint the hunter. Maybe it will be easier to bring the subject once they reached Bobby's, maybe Dean would be in a better mood then.

Several minutes later and the older Winchester reappeared from the store with a bag most likely holding burgers in one hand, something else in another. Castiel hurried to remove his hand from his pocket as he noticed the hunter.

"There!" Dean said throwing something to Castiel. "Don't say a word, I need some quiet." He quickly added before Castiel had a chance to open his mouth.

The object now in the angel's hand was small and cold, wrapped in a colourful paper. Castiel rapidly realized that it contained some sort of food.

"I'm not hungry at the moment." He said blankly.

"Dude, told you to be quiet…" The hunter sighed as he leaned on the hood of the Impala. "You don't eat ice cream just because you have to eat but for the pleasure of enjoying it."

"Like pie?"

"Like pie…"

The angel moved closer to Dean, leaning on the car beside him as he unwrapped his ice cream. The treat was actually even more pleasant than expected. It was sweet and melting in his mouth, stealing a small uncontrolled moan of appreciation from his throat. He tried to compare it with his memory of the taste of pie, and realized that he couldn't decide which one was more enjoyable.

Dean was sitting next to him, eating the same kind of ice cream he brought to Castiel. Yet again he went silent, with his gaze locked somewhere far away, some place unknown to the angel. His face was thoughtful, blank, and Castiel couldn't make much of it.

When powered with his grace, Castiel could always see the souls inside human beings. He never actually cared too much about the physical part of the hunter. But it was back then... so long ago it seemed, before he ripped his grace off, before experiencing his own... craving for physical touches. The only thing the angel could see now – was the face of his vessel. And it was disturbing.

All of a sudden Castiel realized how uncomfortable it was to look at Dean, to see him this way. See him in a foreign body, one belonging to another. Maybe that was why the hunter felt so irritated? The thought brought something very unpleasant to the angel's heart. He didn't understand what this feeling was but he wished fervently that everything was back to normal, as it had been before this dreadful hunt.


	11. Chapter 11

Hello again! Sorry, I haven't had updates lately, because at first my beta Annwyn was on vocation, and then my parents came to visit me. But here it is, new chapter of More Than a Curse! I think my writing in English skills are going up with every chapter, so enjoy =)

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

**In which the storm is coming**

When a black Impala parked at a familiar area of an even more familiar junkyard, it was already late in the evening. The night air was cold, a little bit windy and a pesky drizzle was falling from the cloudy sky, forcing two men to rush into a friendly house. Dean didn't bother to knock on the door; he had no need to – for every single time he and his brother had spent in this house, it had become their home. The hunter knew that Bobby wouldn't mind their unexpected arrival so, without any hesitation, he opened the back door, entering the cozy warmth of a kitchen.

"Hey Bobby!" he called, "It's us!" Dean may had been granted entrance without knocking, but he knew that the old hunter could get a little bit paranoid sometimes, easily aiming at anyone entering his house. Preferably with something heavy.

"I know," He heard a familiar voice coming from the study "I saw you two coming through the window."

The old hunter appeared in a corridor separating two rooms, giving the two men an amused look. "Well," he chuckled, "never in my life I thought I would be able to see something that ridiculous!"

Had it been another, normal day, Dean would probably have retorted with something funny or may have argued, not that he disagreed but because of his roguish nature, but today he just remained silent and nodded, before moving towards the study and settling on the couch. The hunter was not in the mood for talking, still buried in his own thoughts and anger, perfectly knowing that any kind of conversation would end into a quarrel with the older hunter. Therefore, he was only glad when no one followed him, starting to ask questions.

Bobby and Castiel stayed in the kitchen, talking about the curse and any possible ways to dispel it, but Dean wasn't paying much attention. He had been glued to the angel for four days already, unable to leave him for longer than several minutes and right now what he needed the most was some time alone. Not that those four days had been so terrible according to Dean – Castiel sometimes had been annoying, but Dean had spent a great time with the angel. Mostly. It turned out that Dean had more in common with Castiel than with his own brother and sometimes this resemblance scared him. That is why every fibre of his being was ordering to push the poor guy away. The hunter enjoyed the company of his friend so much he couldn't believe it himself and that only made him want to run far away. Anyone else in the world facing the same situation would probably never understand Dean's reaction, maybe calling him stupid or weird, but he was Dean and sincerely believed that anything good couldn't last or would only lead to some disaster sooner or later. At least that was what life and his experiences had taught him.

Of course, Dean had another reason to run, though. The more he was thinking about it, the more he realized that all the warm feelings the angel managed to awake in him were the harbinger of some sort of sexual attraction and Dean wasn't gay, mind you. No matter any wet dreams he could have, or maybe even had already experienced, no matter how much he just wanted to shut all the thinking and simply enjoy the other man's company, he would never ever let it happen, because it was simply wrong in his eyes.

Dean groaned in annoyance and got up from the couch. It was too much to handle for him, as for the whole last day those thoughts had been swirling around in his brain, driving him nuts. He desperately needed to relax and forget about everything, maybe get drunk and find a cute girl to spend the night with. He still remembered that the body he was currently in wasn't his, but he felt desperate and finding someone for the night seemed like a good idea, the only logical way to go.

"Hey guys!" He called. "Going to a bar, have a nice evening!" He announced with a smile as he reached the kitchen.

"You idjit, you understand your condition doesn't allow you to walk around bars, right?" Bobby groaned.

"So what? Going to lock me up in the panic room?" Dean sneered. "Hey Cas, I will need an ID." He turned to his friend. Dean of course looked way older than twenty one, especially in Castiel's body, but he also knew that sometimes bars' staff would ask for Ids, just on principle, and the only ID with Castiel's picture they had in possession was a FBI badge. Going to a bar in the middle of the night with a federal agent's badge was probably a stupid idea.

"I do have Jimmy's ID card." The angel nodded. "It's in a pocket of my coat."

"Am I going to have to dig into your pockets now?" Dean asked.

"But it's in your bag, Dean." The angel protested.

The hunter sighed in defeat and opened the back door of the kitchen, stepping outside and into the cool night air. The light drizzle was still falling from the sky and it didn't seem that it was going to stop anytime soon, but at least it wasn't going to turn into any nasty thunderstorm tonight. Dean climbed on the driver seat of his car and reached for the duffel bag on the back seat, bringing it to his knees. Finding a wedge of tan fabric wasn't difficult, as the coat was laying right on top of everything else.

The hunter held it in his hands for some time, before starting to search for pockets. Dean still felt a little bit awkward about it but Castiel, or so it seemed, had given him permission. Plus the angel most likely never had anything private to carry in his pockets.

As expected, Castiel's pockets were filled with junk : there were some small plastic bags with something inside reminding him of drugs, Dean even sniffed one of them, just in case, and sighed in relief as it wasn't what he was thinking it was. There were coins, some of them looked antique and probably made of actual silver, there were a bunch of different stones, some weird bones and a lot of other crap looking more like trash than anything of import.

Finally Dean was able to locate a wallet in the inner pocket of the angel's coat. Dean opened it and spotted Jimmy's ID card pretty quickly. The hunter retrieved the plastic card from the wallet, and froze: underneath the card was a picture, but it couldn't belong to Jimmy, it belonged to the angel without any doubt, because on this picture he could see Castiel and both Winchesters. The picture had been taken in a small restaurant, here in Sioux Falls, it was a little bit blurry, as it had been taken with a cell phone camera, one of those pictures you make yourself, holding your phone in one hand, trying to aim it at your face. Dean actually remembered the moment it had been taken, the angel had popped out of nowhere while the two brothers had been eating their dinner. Castiel hadn't come to see them because of a case or because of the war in Heaven. The angel had simply appeared because he wanted to spend some time with the brothers. Dean had then proceeded in trying to feed Castiel some burgers, but the angel had been refusing to eat anything. Then Sam had started to take pictures on his phone, explaining that at least looking at them would bring back good memories.

A now familar warmth returned yet again, wrapping Dean's soul in its embrace. Dean could clearly imagine Castiel asking Sam to print the picture, and then carefully inserting it in his wallet pocket. Maybe the angel had been bringing the wallet to his hands from time to time, to look at the picture, thinking about the time he had spent with the Winchesters whenever in a bad mood or in need of some comfort.

The hunter closed his eyes, leaning his head on the headrest of the car seat, rubbing his chin with his hand. As the palm of Dean's hand touched his face he remembered that it wasn't his face actually, but he dind't jerked the hand away, rubbing the two day old stubble.

"Fuck…" he finally sighed, before opening the Impala's door and stepping outside, making his way back to Bobby's house. Dean totally realized that what he was about to do would destroy all his plans for the evening, but he found that he didn't care any more about it.

He hadn't spent a long time outside, no more than ten minutes, but Dean found Castiel all alone, sitting in the kitchen and looking at a wall. The light was still on in the study but Bobby was nowhere in sight.

"Went to sleep." The angel explained, not even turning his head to face Dean.

"Good," Dean nodded, "then you can come with me."

This time Castiel turned his head towards the hunter and looked at him "But I thought you wanted to spend some time alone, you seemed in a bad mood."

"Well, I changed my mind." Dean explained, grabbing the angel by his wrist and pulling him outside.

~ooo~

The bar they stopped at was pretty small, but nevertheless cozy. Even though it was the middle of a working week, the bar was pretty filled with customers who were most likely here to relax after a long working day. The two friends moved to the counter where Dean ordered them some beer. As expected, no one even asked for the ID, but Dean didn't care as the whole time spent on searching for Jimmy's Novak ID card hadn't been pointless in the end.

Finding this picture had helped Dean realize that the stupid dream he had the night before was nothing more but a consequence of their whole body switching situation. Spending the whole day torturing himself about it had only been a useless waste of time. He had become close to the angel and it was nice to simply spend time with him. But that was nothing more than friendship.

"Dude, seriously?" Dean smirked as he realized that Castiel had just finished his third bottle of beer, while the hunter himself was only through half of his second one. "If you want to get drunk, you'd better order something stronger, like whiskey."

Castiel glanced at the hunter tilting his head. "What makes you think I'm going to get drunk?" He asked. Dean noticed that his eyes had already trouble focusing.

"Well, unless your mojo somehow returned without me knowing, I'm ready to bet you will!"

But the angel apparently ignored the warning and ordered yet another drink. He simply seemed to enjoy its taste and was oblivious that slowly but surely the alcohol would catch up with him. Dean decided to let his friend drink more, actually intrigued to see Castiel drunk. Well, he did get a glimpse at it once, a long time ago it seemed, but then Castiel had been drinking out of despair, and now, with the angel appearing to be in a good mood, that could turn out differently. Too bad the nature of their stupid curse made pictures useless in any future blackmail attempt.

Looking around, Dean noticed a pretty woman standing close to them at the counter. She seemed to be in her late twenties, with bright green eyes and long blonde hair. Her face actually seemed very familiar, but Dean couldn't recall where he could have seen her. The hunter was already about to try flirting when he realized that the woman was looking at Castiel only. When she thought that no one was watching her, the girl would obviously trying to move closer to the angel.

She was drinking some fancy cocktail with a straw and every time she brought her glass down, after raising it up to her lips, it went closer and closer to the edge of the counter, with every sip. Dean could already hear the famous "Heh, 'I'm so sorry, I split my drink all over you' pick up line!" falling from her lips. Somehow this thought really amused him and he decided to watch what was going to happen once the girl would be close enough to fulfil her plan.

Dean didn't have to wait long and, as expected, her glass surely started to fall once she came close enough to the angel.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" She yelped, once said glass finally landed on Castiel's lap. "I'm so clumsy sometimes!"

"That's all right!" Castiel smiled, looking into her eyes. He was actually smiling, wide and simple, as the girl started to wipe the cocktail from his jeans with a napkin.

"Anyway, I feel so terrible about it." The girl resumed.

"It could happen to anyone." Castiel nodded, still smiling like an idiot.

Dean began to feel something weird growing inside, watching the whole scene. He didn't expect Castiel to react this way.

"Rachel." The girl offered her hand with a smile.

"Castiel." The angel took her hand in his, but as the guy probably wasn't sure what to do with it, he just kept holding it. "That is interesting; I actually have a sister named Rachel."

The girl giggled stupidly, as for all Dean knew she probably wasn't sober. Castiel kept staring at her; a balmy smile never leaving his face. Dean perfectly understood that the angel was simply drunk and had no idea what he was doing. Staring was his normal thing, but the girl didn't know about this, she didn't know him and actually could interpret it as flirting, even if Castiel was surely unable of flirting.

An unreasonable anger suddenly filled Dean and he had no idea where it came from. After all, he was the one who always wished Castiel would finally find someone to get laid. And, to think about it, that also meant Dean's body would get laid which he would never mind. So he had no reason to feel this rage growing within, with every minute passing by, watching them.

Obviously, the drunk angel totally didn't mind Rachel being touchy, putting her hand on his shoulder, standing now too close to Castiel, they were talking about some stupid stuff, most of which was nothing but a breeze passing through Dean's ears who didn't really pay any attention to their conversation, too preoccupied in staring at them. It seemed that the angel actually did tell the girl that he came from Heaven, which resulted in another weave of giggles coming from Rachel, and then she told him something that made Castiel chuckle as well. Holly crap, the guy was giggling!

Then the girl suddenly leaned forward, whispering something into Castiel's ear.

"I don't understand" The angel replied out loud. "Why would you want us to go anywhere?" He asked.

Rachel whispered something else and Castiel's face suddenly changed, his wide smile vanishing from his face, replaced by what was definitively panic. It seemed like the angel finally figgured exactly what Rachel wanted. He leaned backwards, trying to move away from the girl, and nearly fell from the stool he was sitting on.

"Oh, what's wrong? I thought you wanted it." Rachel smiled seductively.

"Ok, that's enough!" Dean finally stepped in, standing up from his seat and moving closer to his friend.

The girl shot him a surprised look, then her eyes settled on Castiel for an instant before resting once again on Dean. "Oh…" She smiled awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn't know he was already taken." She giggled again and moved back to a more distant spot along the counter.

Dean was used to people assuming he was gay, it had happened quite a few times, and this was no exception. Usually he would make sure to prove them wrong, especially if these people happened to be pretty ladies, but tonight he was just happy with Rachel backing off. It was the first and last time he would see her, so he simply didn't care what she could think anyway.

"Dean…" Castiel sighed. "I'm… sorry, I thought she only wanted to talk."

"Yeah, sure Clarence, you're always so clueless." Dean smirked, tapping his friend's shoulder. "Let's go home already; we had enough drinking for one evening."

"Umm… Dean…" the angel called as he opened a small piece of paper folded several times. "She left this in my hand." He explained.

Dean was pretty sure it was a phone number and he was already about to tell the other man to throw it away, but Castiel had already opened the small note. The hunter glanced at the writing and it wasn't a phone number at all, but four letters, forming a word : "HELP".

When Dean raised his head to spot Rachel, he noticed that the girl was already gone.

"Hey, excuse, me!" He called the bartender. "There was a woman here with us, you know... long blond hair, green eyes, did you see her leaving?"

"A woman?" the barman answered, surprised. "I'm sorry; there wasn't any woman around for the last hour." He replied.

~ooo~

The weather outside had changed significantly. The wind now was blowing stronger and lightning was now flashing through the night. The drizzle had stopped, but a distinct buzz of electricity in the air seemed like a warning that the sky was about to pour heavy rain instead.

"We really need to hurry." Dean announced as both men left the bar, hurrying to the car. "Didn't expect a storm."

Castiel felt weird. The whole world around him was slightly shacking and his head refused to think straight. He understood what was going on as he had already had experienced alcohol before, but ,still, he was surprised to be this inebriated only after four bottles of beer. The angel could still move on his own and was able to get in the Impala without help.

"Next time I will listen to you, Dean." He sighed as the hunter started the Impala's engine.

Dean laughed quietly, but didn't say anything.

The lightning stroke one more time and the sky finally exploded into a heavy rain. But the angel was too tired to care, he couldn't wait till they would be back at Bobby's and finally be able to climb on a bed to fall asleep.

"Everything is so different as a human" The angel admitted. "You have to sleep every single day, you need to eat, and you can become drunk after only four bottles of beer."

"But there are also good things about it." Dean protested. "Think about it… You can appreciate nice food; you can get drunk after only four bottles of beer, which is much cheaper than a whole liquor store." The hunter laughed. "And you can have sex!"

"Mhm…" The angel nodded feeling goose bumps suddenly covering his skin at Dean's words. Suddenly he realized that he was very much interested in this topic. "I could have sex before, while possessing my vessel."

"Oh, I did punch you in the face and you didn't feel it. Yet you're telling me you would have felt other stuffs?

"Yes… by wholly connecting my grace with my vessel, I would have felt everything the same way humans do."

Dean didn't answer to that, keeping his eyes on the road and driving through the night. Somehow Dean's silence disappointed Castiel, who would have enjoyed to carry on this particular discussion. It had warmed up his body but the angel knew exactly what this warmth meant and he blushed a little as he started to feel a growing erection in his pants.

"I would like to have sex..." Castiel whispered.

"Sorry dude, we already left the bar, there won't be any more chances to hook up with a girl for free." Dean sighed.

"Don't want to do it with a girl…" Castiel mumbled so quietly that he wasn't sure if the hunter had been able to hear it or not. But a sudden chatter of brakes proved that he actually did. The car shook a little on wet asphalt before Dean was able to gain its control once again.

"Cas, shut up, all right? You're drunk, you have no idea what you're saying."

There was something wrong with Dean's voice. Castiel was trying to understand what, but he couldn't, as the quantity of alcohol he gulped was clouding his brain. Castiel perfectly realized that he really should have shut up by now, but he felt so at ease and carefree, and there were oh so many things he wanted to tell Dean right now. The angel started to fight himself, trying to be quiet, because, as drunk as he was, he had the strong feeling he would regret this conversation. Very much.

Castiel bit his lower lip, shutting his eyes and trying to think about anything else. The boner in his pants was already too uncomfortable to remain sitting quietly. If he still had his grace, he would have simply willed it away or flied somewhere calm till it would go away, but being drunk and so close to Dean didn't help the matter anyhow.

Trying to distract himself from his thoughts, he reached for the pocket in his jacket, searching for the black metal container holding the vial filled with his grace, hoping that its touch would help him at least a little. But when the hand reached nothing but emptiness, panic took over. The effect of alcohol seemed to disappear in a moment, as well as horniness. Castiel moved his hand in another pocket in hope he'd find the container there, maybe he simply had put it somewhere else and just forgot about it. But the other pocket was empty as well. The angel didn't stop, checking every single pocket of his coat, but the container was simply gone.

"Dean…" He called in alarm. "I think I have a big problem."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**In which pieces of the puzzle are coming together**

Dean was pacing through the study at Bobby's, digging his fingers in black hair belonging to the borrowed body he wore. Meanwhile, Castiel was sitting on the couch, very still and observing the hunter's every move. The angel looked tired, still buzzed because of alcohol and probably fighting against weariness with every fiber of his being.

"Hey, slow down already, will you?" Gabriel growled, glancing at the older Winchester.

Upon finding out what had happened to Castiel's grace, Dean had felt the urge to yell and punch the angel and he really had to restrain himself of not doing so. First thing he had wanted to do was simply to yell at Castiel to go and fuck himself, for both lying and causing so much trouble. But he didn't. Dean perfectly knew that no matter how many times or how hard he could pretend not to care, it was only a lie.

So, after spending, more or less, twenty minutes ignoring Castiel, he had grabbed his phone and dialed Sam. Gabriel, and his stupid pranks, was the last person Dean wanted to see but Dean needed the archangel and didn't really have a choice in the end. Sam and Gabriel both appeared in the study less than a second after Dean's phone call and he didn't even have the time to return his phone to his pocket before they were both standing in front of him. Given the fact that it was already late at night, way past 1 AM, Dean had to admit the timing was pretty impressive.

As expected, Sam looked very tired and still sleepy, the faint trace of a wrinkle, obviously left by a pillow, as a proof that Sam had already been asleep when Dean called and woke him up.

On the other hand, Gabriel looked very much awake and full of energy but Dean was surprised upon seeing not a single hint of amusement or mischief on the archangel's face. Gabriel was unexpectedly serious and seemed actually more interested in helping than in playing whatever game of his.

"Mind your own business" Dean responded angrily.

"Alright guys, we all need to calm down" Sam suggested in a vain attempt at peace.

"Calm down? Seriously?" Dean snapped. "How do you want me to calm down? And you!" Dean turned towards Castiel, pointing at the angel "You lied to me, to us! Was it so difficult to tell the truth?"

"Dean," Castiel moved further back on the couch and looked so pathetic in that instant, but it didn't make the situation any less difficult. "I couldn't, Dean."

"Couldn't? And why couldn't you?"

"Because I already assured you that your body would be fine, how could I then say that it turned out that I was wrong and that you couldn't hold me inside?"

Dean heard Sam, in another corner of the room, trying to suppress an inappropriate laugh, but he didn't care. Dean was mad, he really had no idea something could make him feel this angry. He simply wanted to drop the whole matter right away and go to a blissful sleep, but he understood that that wasn't going to happen.

"Maybe you idjits could have come to me, before deciding to have an angelic sleepover to discuss Dean and Cas' private life?" Bobby appeared from the kitchen door. Dean kicked himself mentally as he had totally forgotten about Bobby sleeping upstairs. "This is still my house, you know?"

"Well, Bobby, It just appears that we have some complications here" Sam explained.

"What sort of complications?" Bobby inquired.

"Ah, not much, just one dumbass angel ripping his grace out and forgetting to mention it." Dean responded. "And deciding to tell us only once it has been stolen."

Castiel shifted on the couch uncomfortably, but didn't say anything as he continued staring at the wall. The study was dim even with all lights turned on, but Dean could see the jawbone of his body twitching a little, it seems that the angel was actually fighting tears.

"All right, Cas, can you give me the note you received from that girl?" Gabriel asked.

Castiel fished out the piece of paper from the pocket of his jeans and handed it over to Gabriel, not even turning his head. Then he excused himself and disappeared in the kitchen. Dean heard the fridge door opening and closing, before the same happened with the door leading to the backyard.

Dean's eyes followed the angel as far as they could, before turning his head back to the others and suddenly realizing that all of them were now staring at him as if waiting for something.

"What?" Dean asked, "Should have I stopped him?"

"No, unless you want to surprise me by showing me that you actually have a heart!" Gabriel smirked. But the smirked looked fake, overenthusiastic and even a bit on the creepy side.

"You know what, fuck you Gabriel!" Dean groaned landing on the couch. Without thinking about it, he ended up sitting in the exact same spot Castiel had been. It was still warm and this realization made Dean shift a little, but he didn't move too far away, not wanting to show his concern to anyone.

"Watch your tongue, boy," Gabriel glared.

"Or what?" Dean responded.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes and walked towards the older Winchester, his face radiated with anger, but suddenly the archangel was stopped by Sam, who placed his hand on Gabriel's shoulder and simply shook his head. Dean had no idea why but it really made the archangel stop and relax a little. The older brother could only be surprised by seeing Sam somehow managing to control an archangel. One who usually didn't take orders from anyone.

"Anyway, Gabe, can you find something about our mysterious girl with this note?"

"Yes, but I will need some ingredients." The archangel nodded. "Bobby, can you give me a hand gathering everything we need?"

Gabriel handed Sam a notebook asking him to draw symbols they'll need and started to check for the ingredients required. Bobby was walking around the house, going through the ones they already had.

Dean was still on the couch, watching the three others working. He felt out of place, useless, and didn't even want to ask if he could help them with anything. The hunter started to feel the anger to slowly fading away and was now more concerned about Castiel's whereabouts. Dean knew that he might have been a little too harsh on him, that maybe he shouldn't have yelled. After all, it wasn't Castiel's fault if they were wearing each other's bodies or if his grace was too strong for Dean's body to hold. Lucifer had been wearing a meat suit for a whole year, not even caring about corrupting and rotting it. But Castiel... he had done what he could to protect his current vessel, Dean's body. And not telling anything about it? What did it change in the end? He would still have been carrying the silly vial around anyway, Dean wouldn't even have considered to hide it somewhere safe, the safest would have been near them in his eyes. And it would still have ended up stolen.

In conclusion, the angel actually didn't do anything to disserve such anger aimed at him. Besides the grace was his only, the angel's own business, not Dean's. He didn't have to tell anything at all in the first place. Dean sighed, annoyed with himself before finally standing up and moving towards the back door.

He found Castiel in the backyard, sitting on the hood of an old rusty ford with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. "Didn't you have enough in the bar?" Dean asked, settling himself beside his friend.

"Isn't it why people drink?" The angel responded. His voice sounded less tired, but drunker than before, apparently he had already absorbed quite an amount of whiskey while sitting here alone. "Because they feel useless and hopeless? Because they want their brains to go numb and stop to feel anything?"

"Heart…" corrected Dean. "Hearts feel"

"You don't feel anything with the heart, it simply transports blood." The angel explained.

"Whatever" Dean sighed. "What about the souls then?"

"The souls…" Castiel repeated. "You know, I have no idea."

The hunter glanced at his friend, who just took another generous sip from his bottle. He wasn't sure what to do, on one hand he would have preferred to drop the conversation and return back inside the house as the conversation wasn't going where he planned, but on another hand he wanted to just take the bottle away from the angel's hands and send him to sleep.

"I have no idea how it works, Dean." The angel continued. "For more than six millions years I lived happily up there, I watched humanity since the moment it was created, and during all this time I didn't really care. I had no interest in their feelings or in what force led them to the paths they chose to take. Is it because of their soul or their brain, their heart or whatever?" Castiel was obviously pouring his heart into his words, swinging his hands while doing so. "And now I'm stuck here, surrounded by humans, overwhelmed with all these feelings and all this pain. I don't understand."

"What don't you understand?" Dean asked.

"Why, why did I choose what I chose…? Feelings bring nothing but pain, they pull you from inside out, making you pathetic, irrational."

"You know what?" Dean snapped. He really could see where the angel was going with this conversation – he had heard those words once already from his friend and didn't want to hear them again. "You're drunk, give that to me." He said, trying to reach out and grab the whiskey.

The angel tried to dodge, but was in no condition for agile moves and nearly fell down from the hood he was sitting on. Dean grabbed his friends by the waist to prevent him from falling, while his other hand was finally able to take the bottle away from angel's hand. Castiel groaned, mumbling something indistinct and leaned closer to Dean, holding the lapels of his jacket and resting his face into Dean's shoulder.

"I hate you Dean, I hate you so much." The angel groaned.

"Uhh, great, thank you for being honest at least once," Dean sighed uncomfortably.

Castiel's words were sharp like knife blades, tearing the hunter's heart into pieces. Of course he knew that he may not be the best person in the world, he, in fact, considered being quite the opposite. And he also knew that he hadn't always been nice to the angel. But suspecting that someone could hate him was a thing and hearing it from the mouth of a person who unintentionally became a part of his own family was something else entirely, it was really painful. Dean tried to move away from the other man, but Castiel didn't let him go, clenching to his jacket as hard as he could.

"I was in heaven, I was happy. And then you came and destroyed it all," Castiel's little outburst apparently had not calmed him, "And everything I did for you, everything I still and always do, it just doesn't matter to you, you're never pleased with anything I do or tell."

Dean of course knew that Castiel had a point here, but he was wrong. It mattered to Dean, everything did; he just had decided to never show how much it did. Dean opened his mouth to argue, but Castiel continued his little monologue, not paying any attention to what Dean could say.

"It's your entire fault Dean, you made me like this, you made me feel things I never thought about, and these feelings are bringing so much pain, they are tearing me apart. I hate these feelings; I hate you for doing this to me."

This time Dean could not stay silent: "So why the hell did you return?" He asked.

And it was Castiel who remained quiet for a moment. He wasn't moving at all and Dean was already about to shake his shoulder to check if the other man had fallen asleep but Castiel started to talk again:

"You called me." He said.

"Bullshit. You needed the staff of Moses."

"I could have fund it by myself. But you called me, and like a total idiot I fled downstairs to see you. I stopped understanding my reactions, Dean… You make me feel so much pain, but every time I hear your voice calling for me, I can't fight it and I keep finding myself drawn to you. What did you do to me?"

Dean's heart leaped in his chest upon realizing exactly what the angel had just said. All pieces of the puzzle suddenly clicked, and suddenly he felt like running away

"Oh crap…" He whispered. He became immediately very aware of how close they were both standing so close to each other; he could feel the warmth coming from Castiel so strongly that it was uncomfortable. The situation was made even more awkward by the fact that they had switched bodies.

"Cas…" He whispered, "I…" He didn't finish the sentence as he had no idea what to say. It was wrong in so many levels that Dean was scared just thinking about it.

Dean found himself wrapping his arms around the angel. He didn't know why he did it, but it soothed him a little. The hunter closed his eyes, trying not to think about the fact he was hugging Castiel.

"Cas, don't worry 'bout it, 'k?" He whispered. "We will find your grace, return to our bodies and then we will talk." He proposed. He wasn't sure how they would talk about something like that or what would came out such a conversation but the topic couldn't be ignored, it would be the most cowardly thing to do. And Dean was anything but a coward.

They remained sitting like this for some time, without exchanging a single word. Castiel seemed to slowly relax but then he sighed and shifted uncomfortably next to the hunter. "Umm… Dean…" He whispered. "How do you feel in this body?" The angel asked out of nowhere, still not moving.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, physically."

Dean hummed, trying to understand what Castiel meant. "Normal, I guess." The hunter replied. "I mean if I close my eyes, I don't feel different" He explained.

"Can you close your eyes then?"

"Why?"

"Just… close them." Castiel mumbled.

There was a note of hesitance in Castiel's voice and for some reason it made Dean feel somewhat nervous. Nerveless he closed his eyes and nodded.

For a moment nothing happened, but then he felt a palm on his belly. Dean tensed but didn't move, wondering what Castiel wanted. The angel kept his hand still for a second, but then started to slowly move it down. Suddenly realizing what the angel was about to do, he jerked away. "Wo-wo-whait!" He shouted and grabbed Castiel's hand moving it away. "What the hell, Cas?"

Castiel looked at Dean with surprise, as if not understanding what he had done wrong. "I… I thought you would like it." He admitted. "I… I guess I was wrong again. I'm sorry."

"Shit, Cas!" Dean groaned. "I could try to explain what is wrong exactly but you're obviously too drunk for this talk." He jumped from the hood of the old ford and pulled his friend away from it. Castiel could still stand on his own, but Dean grabbed him by the arm to help anyway – it was dark and the yard was filled with all sorts of trash, Dean didn't want the angel to trip on something and fall.

"Home, now!" Dean ordered. "You need to sleep."

The angel seemed about to protest, but decided better, simply leaning on Dean once again as they made their way inside the house.

If Dean had thought that he had felt awkward before Castiel decided to show just how fond he was of the hunter by trying to please him sexually, he was wrong. So very much.

Dean never thought about having wings and being able to fly away before, but right now he realized that it would sound like a great option. But he had no wings and couldn't disappear into thin air, so for now he clung to hope that he would be able to sneak inside the house and find a place to lay the drunken angel to sleep and that NO ONE would cross their path. Not that there was anything weird in doing so, but mortification wouldn't even cover it if anyone were to notice the treacherous dick in his pants, who obviously decided that now was the best time to show a lot of interest in the situation.


	13. Chapter 13

I'm really sorry for the late update. The chapter has was ready like a month ago, really, but I really didn't want to post it unbetaed. Tho, after a month of waiting for my beta (she has some major rl problems, and I understand it), I decided to post it anyway. Probably all the chapters after this one will be unbetaed too. I hope there aren't much typos or grammar mistakes. Please tell me what you think.

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

**In which Dean thinks for unusually long time.**

It had been already three in the morning when Dean was finally able to climb into bed. It wasn't even a bed, but the familiar red couch he used to sleep while staying at Bobby's. Sam was already asleep in the same room, but on a more cozy looking bed Gabriel had summoned out of nowhere before leaving them for the night while Castiel had been provided with an also cozy bed on the second floor in the spare bedroom. The hunter was wearied and exhausted, but the sleep didn't want to come. To tell the truth Dean wasn't even surprised about it, as he was expecting it after all had happened today.

Dean had no idea how did he missed it, all those great and little thing the angel ever did for him, all the faith Castiel entrusted Dean with, they were born not only because Castiel believed he had been doing right things, but also because Dean made the angel feel something the poor guy had never knew before. Castiel was in love with Dean, and he made it more than obvious while throwing his drunken confessions into Dean's face an hour ago. Of course it still hadn't been said out loud, but Dean wasn't blind, even if all around him thought otherwise, he understood every single meaning of Castiel's words.

Dean had no idea how to react on it. He wasn't gay, he never even thought about having anything with another guy and Castiel wasn't even a human. But from another side Castiel in fact **_wasn't even a human_**, so may be angels didn't have any sexual definitions. Dean groaned silently rolling over to another side kicking himself mentally as he noticed that his tired brain slowly started to push the thoughts towards ideas about having relationships with Castiel and Dean really wasn't ready to go there yet. There wasn't any single way in the world he could be in relationships with another dude, with an angel. But then again, Castiel loved him even after seeing every single bad side of hunter's personality, after even seeing his soul in hell and this little detail meant so much to Dean. And he was an angel so Dean would never have to afraid that Castiel could be endangered by hunter's profession that some kind of demon could find that Castiel was Dean's weak point and kill him as a simple revenge. The angel could kick demon asses by his own accord and even better then Dean.

Dean sighed rubbing his face with the palm of his hand. All right, his brain actually **_did_** push the thought towards dating Castiel and it scared him shitless. He even didn't know why it was happening to him, why he even started to consider the possibility of it at the first place. Plus there were so many other problems to deal with, like Castiel's stolen grace - no one even knew what terrible things one could do with it. Or the witch who caused all this body switch. Dean tried to concentrate on those problems, but no matter what all his thoughts kept returning to Castiel, and moreover Dean actually now started to think about what Castiel was about to do when they had been standing outside, how his warm palm had been slowly sliding closer to hunter's crotch. The fact that Dean had actually been turned on by the said angel so many times during the last five days didn't help the situation anyhow. Dean really could pretend that all those ideas were coming to his head only because it had been really long time since he had gotten laid the last time, that he was simply horny and had no opportunities not only to find someone to spend a night with but even masturbate as he still couldn't bring himself to the idea of touching someone else's penis in an intimate way. But deep down Dean actually understood that those reasons were just another excuse of his homophobia.

"I'm so much screwed…" He whispered out loud.

"Why?" A voice beside him asked. It was Sam, who wasn't as asleep as Dean thought.

Dean wanted to tell his brother to stop asking stupid questions or to throw a pillow at him, but instead he found himself spilling his thoughts not able to stop: "Because of Cas." He said.

Dean kicked himself mentally for telling it, there wasn't a single way Sam would drop this conversation now, he would start to ask hundreds questions Dean wasn't ready to answer even to himself, not to his brother. "I see…" Sam simply responded.

Dean waited a moment, expecting his brother to continue, but Sam was silent. "What do you see?" Dean suddenly asked not sure why as it was him who didn't want to talk about anything.

"Dunno…" Sam honestly admitted. "I kinda saw you cuddling outside through the window when went to the kitchen."

"Oh…" Dean managed to pronounce. "And what do you think?"

The last question wasn't much a surprise as Dean really cared about his brother's opinion. He knew that if he ever decided to do build something with the angel and Sam wouldn't like it he wouldn't of course change his mind, but it would be really troublesome for the older Winchester to know that his brother disapproved. And again, why the stupid thoughts about him and the angel kept returning to Dean's head?

"I think you two are kinda adorable…" Sam replied.

"Yeah, sure…" Dean nodded. His whole existence wanted to protest at this, because seriously, he not only had considered to be with Castiel only like several minutes ago for the first time, but had already managed to find out what Sam thought about it, but he was so exhausted that he couldn't even pull any sort of protest out of himself.

The outer composure Dean had at the moment was very alien for the hunter. He was very surprised how he could even being that calm while all his inner existence was freaking out about the ideas his brain was building, but then decided to relax and try to roll with it. Tomorrow he would of course give it some more thoughts, may be even pretend he never realized what the angel actually meant by his speech, because Castiel as it seemed didn't understand it either. In the end it wasn't Dean's fault the angel fell for him, wasn't it?

~ooo~

Castiel slowly opened his eyes and had to squint as the bright morning light echoed in his head with a sharp ache. He reopened his eyes adjusting to the light and looked around himself trying to determine where was he while attempting to ignore the pain. It wasn't a hotel room, even with the fact the wallpapers on walls looked shabby and blenched and the angel could clearly smell book dust and old clothes here. But at the same time bed was very comfy and smelt clean and fresh.

Slowly the sense of reality started to return to the angel and he understood that he was in Bobby's house, most likely in the second floor in the spare bedroom.

The angel shifted in bed trying to bring himself to stand up, but his whole body felt sore and aching so he ended up sitting on the bed rubbing his face with his palms. The memories of yesterday's evening started to catch up with him slowly, making him feel nauseous and ashamed. First thing that returned to him was the memory of the stolen grace and the fright enveloped him even tighter than yesterday, because if he wouldn't able to return it he would stuck on Earth till the end of his days without even knowing where would he go after death. But at least he would be stuck here with Dean which of course would be at least some compensation for the lost.

Oh, Dean… the angel groaned as he suddenly remembered the conversation they had. Castiel had no idea how now he would be able to look Dean's into the eyes again. He remembered how he told the hunter that hated him, how he had blamed him with everything that had ever happened to him what if Dean wouldn't want to even talk to him after that? He would be stuck here powerless, useless and alone.

Castiel sunk back into the bed, covering himself with a blanked so only his forehead was sticking out from it. Suddenly one more memory rushed inside his aching head making the angel whimper out of despair. What was he thinking about when decided to touch Dean in the way he did? No, he wasn't thinking at all, he just wanted it, wanted so bad and the amount of alcohol he employed shut his brain off, making him act relaying only on the human instincts of the vessel he was currently in.

And if the heartbreaking speech about how much the angel hated Dean wasn't the end of their friendship, so this definitely was it. Castiel wanted to disappear, to fly away and never return back because the level of guilt and shame was high enough to metaphorically drown in it, but he couldn't. He was tied to the ground and couldn't do anything. Even death right now sounded better than this.

Castiel thoughts were suddenly destructed by a knock on the door. The angel wanted to answer, but he found himself unable to even open his mouth to talk.

"Cas, get up already, it's nearly noon…" The voice from another side of the door announced. It was a familiar voice of Jimmy's vessel, so it meant it must have been Dean who came to wake him up. The heart inside Castiel's chest started to beat so hard that he thought it could explode any moment and the situation seemed even worse with the fact that it's every beat was echoing in his head with a dull pain. The angel shot his eyes closed afraid to even breath.

"Cas? You all right there?" Dean asked.

The angel knew that he had to respond somehow, to say that he was all right, even if it wasn't true. He gathered the last strength he had left in him to reply, but he didn't have enough time as the door shot open. Castiel turned his head and saw Dean standing in the doorway gazing upon his friend with a worrying look. The moment they eyes met, both hurried to turn the gaze away staring now in no particular direction.

"Sorry," Dean apologized, "you weren't responding, I thought something happened. You ok?"

Of course Castiel wasn't ok, and of course something had happened, in fact there were a lot of things happened and Dean had to know it like no one else.

"Yeah…" the angel replied quietly. "Just feel a bit sick after yesterday."

The angel suddenly regretted the fact he mentioned yesterday, as he noticed the hunter shifting uncomfortably.

"Yeah, about yesterday…" Dean started and the angel felt like his heard stopped for a moment. Dean slowly entered the room settling on the edge of the bed and sighed.

Castiel slowly moved from the covers noticing that he was fully dressed – apparently Dean decided not to undress him before laying down on the bed and to tell the truth the angel was thankful for that. It wasn't like he was afraid of being naked in front of the hunter as he never paid attention to such details, especially if to consider he was still in Dean's body. It was just… no, he couldn't figure what it was, he was just glad he was dressed.

"What about it?" Castiel asked nervously. He set on the bed and finally was able to look at the hunter whose gaze was still aimed somewhere to the floor.

"I… umm…" Dean started but it seemed like he had no idea how to continue. The room sunk into uncomfortable silence disturbing only by the birds' songs from outside the house.

"Dean?" Castiel called hunter's name as he didn't know what else to say.

Dean turned his head and looked at the angel. "Well…" He started once again, meeting Castiel's eyes. "So, about yesterday, yeah…" He continues turning away once again. "You see, I said that we will get back your grace. So… and we will, I promise." He nodded. "And now, there is a breakfast ready, go brush your teeth and go down." He added standing from the bed and leaving the room.

Castiel had been left alone and very confusing. It was obvious that Dean was very uncomfortable talking with the angel, but at least he tried. The angel had no idea why the hunter didn't bring up anything that was definitely bothering both of them. Maybe Dean thought that Castiel was too drunk and didn't remember what had happened? In this case the angel was more than happy to play along if it could ease their both existence. With a sigh of relieve Castiel stood from the bed still trying to ignore the headache and moved towards the bathroom.

~ooo~

Dean was sitting in the kitchen sipping the coffee. He had no idea what happened upstairs and why he wasn't able to say everything he had planned. The idea of his speech was very simple: he had wanted to meet his friend, and tell him that everything was totally fine, that they both should just forget about everything Castiel had said (or did) and move on, like it had never occurred. It shouldn't have been even a 'let's talk about feelings' conversation, it should have been easy.

But when Dean met angel's eyes up there, when he saw so much fright I them, he just couldn't say a word. Suddenly the hunter started to wish Castiel knew what he meant by his words, suddenly he realized that he didn't want to forget and move on, he wanted…

"Shit…" Dean swore out loud, returning the cup of coffee back to the table. Now he didn't feel hungry anymore.

The sound of rustling wings behind his back made him jump from the chair and turn around. Of course Dean knew that Gabriel supposed to return today to help them out, and he was already used to sudden appearance of angels behind his back, knowing Castiel for several years, but it still took him by surprise. What was even more surprising that instead of the archangel Dean saw Balthazar standing in the middle of the kitchen and gazing around with a slight disgust crossing his face.

"I have two news." Balthazar jumped to the business immediately. "One is good and one is bad. With which one do you want me to start?"


End file.
